


Something to Give

by FKAErinElric



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 09, Case Fic, Castiel learning to human, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Domestic Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Idiots in Love, M/M, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Smut, background case fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:02:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27725204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FKAErinElric/pseuds/FKAErinElric
Summary: Freshly human Castiel is trying to learn how to manage everything about being human, including his apparent feelings for Dean. But when he goes on a case with the hunter will he get that chance?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 151





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I've been working on this off and on for a while now. I got too many WIPs going at once, plus real life, and then other things... mostly too many WIPs... lol

Something to Give

Castiel sat at the table in the library. He stared at his cup of coffee. His body ached in a way he couldn’t quite understand yet. Being human, kind of sucked at times. He sighed. That’s what Dean told him when he got him after he first fell.

At the time, Sam was in the hospital recovering from attempting to do the trials. Castiel was lucky that he fell into a field near the same hospital. Even luckier than that, Ezekiel was nearby to heal Sam of his ailments. The three of them returned to the bunker and life continued as normal… just now that Castiel was human-like Sam and Dean.

He sipped his coffee that was now cold. Now that he was human, the taste of black coffee was too bitter for him. No longer overwhelmed by the molecules he had taken to flavoring his coffee. This cream was hazelnut. He decided he liked it but preferred the Hershey creamer the most. He would have to get more the next time they went to the store.

“Morning,” Dean grunted as he walked into the library with his own steaming mug in his hand. He pulled out a chair. It’s scrapping along the wood made Castiel cringe. He didn’t understand why everything set him off. “How long have you been up?”

He looked at him. Dean’s green eyes reflected concern. How long had he been up? He couldn’t recall. “Ummm, a few hours I believe.”

He made a non-committal noise. “No wonder you look like hell.”

“I apologize. I’ll make sure I am more presentable next time.”

He shook his head. “Nah, man your cool.” He sipped his coffee and pulled up his laptop.

Castiel watched him. Dean was a fascinating creature. Even when he was an angel he couldn’t help but catch himself admiring Dean. There was something about him that drew him to him. It was much, much stronger now that he was human. His pulse would quicken if Dean got too close, if he stared into his green eyes he would forget what he was talking about. Right now, the best thing in the world was how Dean would purse his lips as typed. His mouth moved with every keystroke and it stirred up something in Castiel that he couldn’t exactly explain.

“What are looking up?” Castiel asked hoping to start a conversation to get away from these bizarre feelings.

“Ah, I’m just looking for cases. With you getting used to being human and Sam being fully healed I think we should get back out there.” He sipped his coffee. “Who knows what havoc Metatron’s spell might have unleashed… or you know half trying to close the gates of Hell.” He sighed as he typed some more. “I think I might have something though.” He turned the laptop to Castiel.

He pulled it closer to it to read it. He found being human he couldn’t read as far as he used it. Sam had implied that perhaps he needed corrective lenses. He wondered if that was accurate. “Hmm, fourth hiker vanishes while rock climbing? Searches have been ongoing for the past few weeks for missing hikers.” He read. Apparently, several people had gone missing after hiking in the mountains of Oklahoma. “You think this is our type of case and not just some unfortunate events?”

“Four people disappearing in the same area doesn’t sound weird to you?”

“Well, rock climbing is dangerous. I am sure they have accidents all the time.”

“Four within one month?”

He sighed. “You’re right, Dean it does sound odd.” He frowned at the screen as he read the rest of the article. “You would think someone would close the trail.”

“I started following this story after the first guy went missing. Apparently, they did close it off but people are still getting in.”

“It would be hard to close off a forest.” He observed. In an open area, an adventurous hiker could easily climb over a fence to get to the trail. Some people, after all, did put safety second to adventure.

Sam walked into the library with his own laptop. “Morning guys.” He greeted

“I think I found us a case.” Dean said as he slid the laptop to his brother.

Castiel glanced over at Sam as he read over it. It was interesting. No matter how many times he looked at Sam, the taller man never triggered the same strange feelings he got from Dean. He frowned to himself. What were these feelings? He looked over at Dean who was finishing off his coffee. Something about the way his mouth was wrapped around the mug was just so… beautiful. Was that the word he wanted? He needed to look this up. Perhaps he suffered from an illness? It wasn’t normal to feel this way when looking at someone else, was it? Though he still wasn’t all that good with a computer he probably wouldn’t learn anything.

“Okay, you and Cas can handle this right?”

This snaps Castiel out of his thoughts. “What?” He asked

“Sam, Cas can’t do this I mean, it’s a lot of hiking and he’s only been human for what three weeks? He hasn’t even figured out how to fall asleep yet and you expect him to go mountain climbing?”

“It’s not like your exactly Mr. Exercise yourself, Dean.” Sam teased. “Most you do is fighting monsters.”

Dean scoffed. “Whatever.”

“I can handle it.” Castiel piped up. “I may not be used to extended walking but my vessel… my body is tough.” He knew Jimmy was a man who took good care of himself. His muscles were fairly well developed. Once he fell, he started running with Sam then Sam showed him where the gym was in the bunker so he could work out on his own. What was the human word for it? He was… toned, yes, that was it. He had a toned body.

Dean was staring at him. His lips puckered in thought as he eyed him. Castiel wondered if Dean had a toned body. Then he wondered where that thought came from.

“I am ‘fit’.” He rolled up his shirt sleeve and flexed his arm for Dean.

Sam chuckled as this strange look formed on Dean’s face. Dean licked his lips. “Yeah, well,” his face turned red and he coughed. “You got guns.”

“Guns? What do firearms have to do with my arms?”

Sam laughed. “Dude, he means you have big arm muscles.”

“Why is that called guns though?”

Dean huffed. “Don’t worry about it. What I’m worried about is your stamina not how much you can lift.” Dean rolled his eyes. Castiel wondered what made him so flustered. Was he perhaps jealous of his ‘guns’? Now that Castiel thought about it his arms did seem a little bit thicker than Dean.

“He runs with me almost every day.” Sam interjected

“Ugh, Cas runs?” Dean scoffed. He looked at him. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

Castiel tilted his head. “I don’t understand. Shouldn’t I take care of this body by exercising? I need to keep in shape.”

“Don’t listen to him, Cas,” Sam said. “You are right you should stay active to be in shape. A lesson Dean should take from you.”

“Hey! I am plenty active!” Dean stated

“Only running you do is your mouth.” Sam scoffed.

Castiel listened to the two of them bickering back and forth. He never understood how these two could bicker so much and yet care so deeply for one another. He never bickered like that with his siblings… not in a loving way.

“Okay, fine!” Dean shouted snapping Castiel out of his daydream. “We’ll go and I’ll take Cas.” He stood up. “You better not quite on me halfway up the mountain.” He pointed at Castiel as he said it. He turned and walked towards the bedrooms.

“I guess I should pack as well.” Castiel stood up when Sam stopped him.

“Hey, uh, can we talk for a second?”

He sat back down. “Yes, Sam?”

“Umm,” He chuckled. “I don’t know… how I should ask this…” He glanced back at the hallway Dean went down and waited until the sound of Dean closing the door echoed back up the hall. The bunker had some major sound control issues Castiel was realizing. “What’s going on with you and Dean?”

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean?”

Sam sighed. “Of course you don’t. You haven’t been human for that long… Cas, as an angel did you feel emotions?”

“That’s a strange question, Sam, but no… not exactly not like you humans do. It’s been a struggle, if I’m being honest, I never quite understand what it is I’m feeling. I don’t know the words that go with the feelings yet.”

“Hmmm, so you never felt… l-“ He cleared his throat. “Attraction before?”

“Attraction?” He frowned. What did that feel like? He remembered being drawn to stuff as an angel. TV was powerful, fall leaves, rain, ocean… Dean…. Wait… Dean? He was drawn to Dean when he was an angel he always felt Dean’s longing. “I… I’m not sure… perhaps… I mean I have been drawn to things.”

Sam smiled a little. “So… was one of those things Dean?”

He blinked. “Sam, are you asking if I am attracted to your brother?”

“Yes, I am.” He closed his laptop. “I know you’re new to this human thing and you might not… understand it so I’m trying to help.”

His mouth fell open. It was all making sense now. That’s what it was he was attracted to Dean! “I am. I think I am.” He smiled. It was making sense now. He saw it in so many movies, and TV shows he had watched how did it not dawn on him before? “Does this… should I tell Dean?”

Sam frowned. “I don’t know. That’s up to you.”

“But Dean has only been attracted to the female form… and I am a male.” Castiel observed. He felt his heart deflate. Sadness. This was sadness. He couldn’t have Dean. Dean wouldn’t feel the same way. He felt defeated before he even started the fight.

Sam made a face Castiel didn’t understand. “Don’t get upset… It’s…” he sighed. “It’s not my place to say anything but I think you should try to tell Dean.”

“Why? He is a heterosexual male and I am a male. Won’t that end badly?”

“Don’t tell Dean, okay? But I don’t think he’s as straight as he wants everyone to think.”

“Straight?”

“I mean, I don’t think he’s as strictly into women as he claims.”

“You mean you think he is bisexual?”

“Yes.”

He thought about it. He had never noticed it in Dean before. He went through his mind of all those moments with Dean. Yes, Dean did stare at him… a lot now that he thought about it. And he had a really strange reaction to Dr. Sexy. And the way Dean had hugged him before… it was different than how Sam hugged him.

“Ugh, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Sam said to himself.

“It’s fine. It provides some clarity.” He got up from the table. “Thank you for your insight, Sam, it is most helpful.”

“You’re welcome.” He hesitated.

Castiel walked into his room. His room was a few doors away from Dean’s. He had begun to settle down in the room. He had gotten a TV, Dean had gotten him a shelf for some books and knick-knacks. He opened his dresser and removed his bag. He needed to pack things. He wasn’t used to having to take a bag with him on hunts. He picked out a few pieces of clothes. The brothers had bought him a lot of clothes, perhaps too many clothes but he had clothes now. There was a knock at his door. “Come in.”

Dean walked into the room. “You packed yet?”

“I just started.” He sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how much to pack… or how to pack?”

Dean sighed. “Let me.” He marched into the room and took the bag. “First of all, you don’t need to pack every pair of underwear you have.” He grunted as he pulled out his underwear and tossed it on the bed. Seeing Dean with his boxers in his hand made his stomach flip. He refolded them and put them in the bag. “You need one suit.” He handed him a suit bag.

Castiel loaded up his old outfit in the bag. Being human, he had learned very quickly that sitting around in a suit all the time was not very comfortable.

“Okay,” He pulled out four flannel shirts and the same amount of jeans. He stuck them in the bag and zipped it up. “They're packed.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you pack toothpaste and shit?”

“Ummm…” He walked up to the sink and opened the medicine cabinet. He pulled out his toothbrush, toothpaste, and put them in a bag. “What about a razor?”

“Do you want to look like a wildman?”

“No.”

“Then yes, bring your razor.”

He tossed the razor in the bag as well. He grabbed his body wash also.

Dean sighed as he picked up Castiel’s bag. “God, you are helpless.”

Castiel frowned as he watched Dean pick up his bag. “I…”

“Let’s go!” He all but barked

He followed behind him. He didn’t mean to irate Dean. He didn’t want to it just… he didn’t understand everything yet. They walked through the library.

“We are heading out.” Dean informed Sam

“Be careful.”

They headed outside to the car. The cold air hit Castiel and he shivered.

“Where’s your coat?” Dean asked

“I… I guess I forgot about it.”

Dean rolled his eyes and looked up at the sky as if to say ‘why me’ He tossed the bags on the ground and tossed Castiel the keys. “Load up I’ll get your coat.”

He opened the trunk and packed in the bags. He closed the trunk when Dean came out carrying his coat. He reached to take it but instead Dean slid it on Castiel’s arms. Castiel raised an eyebrow when he realized Dean was helping him get his coat on.

“Okay, rule number… one or five or whatever number we are on about you being human. If it is cold out you put on a coat. Okay?”

“Okay, Dean.” He said trying not to focus on the warmth he felt when Dean’s fingers brushed against him.

Dean opened up the driver’s side of the car and got in. Castiel followed suit on his side. As Dean started the car, Castiel happened to realize this was the first time he had ridden in the car fully human. He had been in before when he was mostly human back during the apocolypse. But now it seemed different somehow. The sounds of Led Zeppelin filled the car as they drove out of Lebanon.

“It’s going to be a long drive,” Dean informed Castiel. “Are you going to be up for it?”

He nodded. He held up a book. “I brought a book with me.”

He smirked. “Okay, Cas, just don’t get car sick reading in the car.”

He frowned. “Why would reading make me sick?”

He sighed. “Nevermind, Cas.”

Silence fell upon them, save for the music. Dean drove keeping his eyes on the road while Castiel read his book. Hours ticket by, Castiel shifted in his seat. He was getting uncomfortable. “Dean,”

“Hmm?”

“I think… I think I need to stretch my legs… and possibly urinate…”

He chuckled. “I was planning on a pit stop anyway. Baby needs gas.”

It felt like another hour as Castiel wished a gas station would suddenly appear. Soon, one did, he was fairly certain he had never been happier to see a Gas’n’Sip in his life.

Dean eased the car beside the pump and Castiel was out of the car as soon as Dean put it in park. He shouted something at him that he didn’t hear as he made his way into the store. The stiffness in his legs easing up he all but ran over a man as he made into the bathroom. He let out a sigh as he relieved himself. This by far was the worst part of being human. After he finished up, he washed his hands and headed into the store. His stomach growled when he smelled the subs being baked in the adjoining restaurant.

Dean walked into the store. He stopped at the counter and paid for the gas. He walked up to him. “I got to hit the head myself, then we’ll be back on the road.”

He frowned. “I’d like to get something to eat.” His stomach growled loudly.

He handed him his card. “Get yourself some snacks and something to drink.”

“I want…” He smelled the food again. “Real food.” He protested. “And I want a break. We just stopped can’t we rest for a minute.”

He rolled his eyes. “This is why I wanted Sam to come with me.” He murmured so quietly that he barely heard him.

“I am sorry. It’s just uncustomary for me to ride in the car for so long. I just want food. I didn’t eat this morning.”

Dean licked his lips and huffed. “Fine, Cas, get whatever you want.” He stomped off to the bathroom and Castiel wondered if he had said something wrong.

He glanced over the chips. Those looked good too. Everything looked tasty. Why didn’t he eat before he left home? He made his way over to the sub shop half of the store. He stared at the menu.

The employee behind the counter smiled at him. “Hello, what can I make for you today?”

“I uh,” He didn’t know what he wanted. He hadn’t technically had a sub before. Why was this so hard? He felt Dean pat him on his shoulder as he leaned over him.

“This order is together,” Then Dean rattled off a list of ingredients. Castiel watched the chipper worker put the sandwich together. So that’s how it’s done.

“And you sir?” She asked him.

“I will uh, do the chicken one.” He went through the same thing of putting the food together silently hoping he liked that stuff together.

They paid for their food, then selected several bags of chips, and a few bottles of soda. Castiel followed Dean back to the car. He sighed. Wishing they could take a break.

Dean started the car and drove a few miles to a park area.

“What are you doing?”

“You wanted to take a break didn’t you?” Dean asked. He pointed at the tables. “We can take a break here and eat our food. Is that fine with you?”

“That sounds… lovely.”

He grimaced as he grabbed a bag of chips and a soda. “Get you one too but the rest is for the road. We can’t make too many stops okay.”

“Okay, Dean, but thank you for this.”

“Yeah sure.” He dusted off the leaves off a picnic table as he sat down.

Castiel did the same, he barely wasted any time opening up his sub. He was hungry. He moaned as he chewed on the sandwich.

Dean almost choked on his laughing. “Dude, seriously it’s just a sub.”

“I was hungry.” He said around his food. He swallowed. “I like eating.” He announced

He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, well, you get to liking it too well and you're going to get fat.” He winked

“I like experiencing new things. I couldn’t taste anything as an angel. The molecules were too much.”

Dean tore off a piece of his and handed it to him. “Try mine see what you think.”

He ate the meatball sub. “It is good as well, but I think I like mine better.”

“It’s not my type of food either. More like something Sam would be into.”

“Eating greasy food isn’t good for you either.”

He nodded. He sat there for a second then chuckled. “This almost feels like a date.”

He jerked his head up from his sub. Dean was blushing a deep red shade. He tried to hide his face behind his soda.

“But it’s uh, not since your… you and I’m me.”

Castiel frowned. Dean seemed to be a very confused and complex man. Perhaps he wasn’t as comfortable with his sexuality as he led the world to believe. It considered commenting but Dean opened up his chips and started eating them loudly. Maybe another time. He didn’t want to make Dean uncomfortable around him.

“Want to try a Dorito?” Dean asked holding out the bag

He took the orange chip and ate it. “It’s good.” He stared at the orange residue on his hands. “But I don’t care for the after-effects.”

Dean stuck his fingers in his mouth and sucked on them loudly. “Dude just lick it off.”

He stared at him licking his fingers for far longer than a sane person should. He popped one in his mouth and caught Dean staring at him as he licked them clean. He dusted off his hands on his pants. “I don’t like having my hands dirty.” He mumbled as he went back to his sub trying to ignore the tingling feeling that was going through him as Dean looked at him with wide green eyes. Did Dean set him up? Did he enjoy watching him lick his fingers? He picked up his chips and attempted to open them.

“Wait,” Dean said. He took the bag and opened it. “You’ll make a mess if you aren’t careful.”

“I see.” He took his bag back and ate one of the chips. He frowned

“What’s wrong don’t like them?”

“The Doritos were better.”

He laughed. “At least you got good taste.” He stood up. “Come on let’s go.”

Castiel let out a small sigh as he stood up as well. He wanted to rest a bit more. He knew that they needed to get going to begin the hunt. Monsters wait for no one after all, but, he did want to continue enjoying this moment with Dean. Maybe they would get more chances for this after the hunt? He ate his chips finishing them off by the time they got to the car. He tossed his trash in the can as he got in the car with Dean.

Dean started the car and eased it back on the highway. He was quiet as he focused on the road. Castiel watched the trees as they drove by them admiring the various colors they were turning into. Fall was arriving. The crisp air reminded him of that. He took in the fact that he could feel the cold air. Being an angel, he never truly felt cold and regarded the changing seasons as merely a thing that happened. But, somehow, now being human, he could take in the beauty and splendor of the changes.

Dean’s cell phone rang snapping Castiel out of his deep thoughts. “Can you get that?” Dean asked

He raised an eyebrow. Ordinarily, Dean would answer his own phone. He must be being cautious about his driving. He picked up the phone and saw Sam’s name on the screen. He answered it. “Hello, Sam.”

“Hey, Cas, can you put me on speaker it’s about the case.”

Castiel studied the phone and figured out which button was the speaker button. One of these days, he would master a cell phone. He used to lead armies to battle surely he could figure out a cellar device.

“So get this,” Sam started. “I’ve been doing some digging on the case since you guys left and I noticed something.”

“What’s that?” Dean asked. He flicked his eyes over to the phone then back on the road. Castiel wondered how in the world Dean hadn’t gotten in a wreck yet.

“Well, I got on the victim’s social media profile and realized they all stayed at the same place.”

“Really? And where was that?”

“It’s a cabin or well a series of cabins at the foothills of the mountains. They all stayed there, at different times.”

“Same cabin?” Castiel asked.

“No that’s the thing they stayed at different cabins.”

“So whatever is after these people must be using the cabins as it’s hunting grounds?” Dean asked

“Sounds like it.”

“And the bodies were never recovered?” Castiel asked

“Nope, I’m still digging into that but no bodies have been recovered. Rangers and the police have been all over that mountain and there isn’t so much as a hint as to where they went.”

“Did they even make it to the mountain I wonder?” Castiel suggested. “Perhaps they were taken from their cabin.”

“If they were you would think that someone staying nearby would hear it,” Dean said. “It would be busy this time a year. People taking late vacations, looking to get out in the great outdoors to admire the foliage that type of shit.”

“Hmm,” Sam said. “It is a good question. If they are being taken from their cabins or not.”

“Okay, Sam, look up anything you can find about the cabin rental. Book us a cabin while you’re at it.” Dean took the phone from Castiel and hung it up. “What do you think, Cas?”

“It is strange. You would think someone would know something.”

“Oh, someone definitely knows something. They are just keeping it quiet.”

“But why? Why not admit that something is wrong?”

Dean sighed. “Humans… we have a hard time explaining the unexplained. It’s easier to ignore something that’s right in front of you rather than admit that something is going on.”

“It is… strange to me.” He admitted. “If they spoke up about it, perhaps this could have ended before more people went missing.”

“Yeah, but most people would ignore someone who would say something is taking people in the woods. They would think they are crazy or it would cause mass panic.”

“Mass panic would be bad.” Castiel agreed. “What do you think it is?”

“Not sure, maybe a Wendigo but they usually don’t hunt in this area. Could be about anything really.”

That sent a chill down Castiel’s spine. They are hunting something unknown. Heading in with very little information. It could be something that could kill them… worse it could be something that could hurt Dean.

“It will be okay. Whatever it is we will find it and kick it in the ass.” Dean must have sensed his unease. But somehow his promise made him feel better. They would ‘kick it in the ass’ as Dean says… whatever it is.


	2. Chapter 2

Something to Give

Chapter 2

The car ride to the foothills was long and exhausting. Castiel had long lost his sense of humor for a road trip. He began to miss flying. He caught himself staring at the sky daydreaming of the days when could simply think of it and be where he wanted to be. Dean for the most part had been quiet other than occasionally quizzing him on how to kill various creatures they might face. Castiel knew most of it. Though he was unprepared for the weighty feeling when he realized he would have to kill something other than smiting it. He still had his angel blade but that would only help so much. He honestly wasn’t sure it would work on anything other than demons, and fellow angels. He felt as if he should know that, but it wasn’t like it was something that was ever brought up in Heaven. Angel blades were for fighting the good fight against demons. He didn’t even know they worked on other angels until Uriel. A twist formed in his stomach at that thought. He wielded a blade that could kill his own kind… no, his former kind. Now he was human and anything could kill him. Humans were so weak, so soft. Nausea rolled through him. He could easily die during this hunt, so could Dean.

He glanced over at Dean. That worried him more than anything. He couldn’t protect Dean anymore. They were on equal footing now. If Dean got hurt he couldn’t heal him. He clenched his pants leg.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked as they pulled into a parking spot in front of a building.

“Yes, yes, I am.” He lied. He was getting good at lying and it troubled him. He couldn’t tell Dean how he was feeling. How would he even begin to word it?

“Hmmm.” Dean made a noise. Maybe he wasn’t as good as he thought. “Well, we are here.” He pulled out his phone. “Sammy sent a text he got us a cabin under the name Smith.”

“Okay Smith. Just Smith or?”

“He used our first names.” He shrugged. “Makes it easy to remember.” He quirked his lip up in a half-smile

“So we are Dean and Castiel Smith?”

Dean nodded. He looked like he had something else to say but left it alone. “Come on let’s see which cabin he got us.”

They got out of the car and headed to a large wooden building with a sign on it that read ‘lodge’. They headed into the building. They were greeted with a large chandler above them, a nice gift shop, and an ornate desk with a disinterested clerk manning it.

Dean marched up to the clerk. “Hi uh, checking in for Smith.”

The clerk nodded as she got onto the computer. “Ah yes, Mr. and Mr. Smith, I have you in here at cabin 11.” She pulled a card with a key off of a hook behind her. She handed it to Dean with a smile. “You are going to love it. Thank you for choosing us for your honeymoon.”

Dean blushed and Castiel raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, uh, that’s uh, thanks.” He looked at Castiel. “Come on, Cas.”

They headed back to the car all the while Dean was blushing mad. What did the clerk mean by honeymoon? Wasn’t that something married people did? He and Dean weren’t married… right?

“Man, wish we could have stayed at the lodge. They had HBO and everything.” He sighed as they got to the car.

“Dean,” Castiel started. He had a million questions floating in his head

Dean got in the car ignoring him.

He sighed as he got in the car. “Dean, did she say honeymoon?” He was not going to be ignored by Dean

He licked his lips. “Yeah, yeah she did.” He chuckled nervously

“Isn’t that the vacation couples take when they are married?” He was a little unclear on all human traditions. After all, traditions were different from each country to the next. So he wanted to double-check.

“Yeah.” He said his voice turning into a squeak. “Sam, he uh, said the only one open that we could take was the honeymoon one so… here we are,” He shrugged. “Mr. and Mr. Smith… happily married and everything.”

“Oh.” He nodded. “I hope we had a lovely wedding then.” He tried to use humor to calm Dean down. He didn’t know if it would work, but he had to try something.

Dean coughed as he started the car. “Yeah, uh, sure.” He backed out of the parking lot and started up the small mountain road.

“Does it… make you uncomfortable to be fake married to me?” He asked him. He studied the side of Dean’s face. He watched him contort it thinking of what to say. Castiel’s stomach drops. He’s not sure of the implications of this conversation. Was Dean worried about hurting his feelings? Or was he more worried about how others perceived him?

Dean’s silence drags on and Castiel wishes he could vanish into the leather of the Impala to never been seen again. “I… I uh,” He looked at Castiel as they pulled up to a large cabin. He smirked at him. “I think I could have done worse.” He teased. He gets out of the car running away from the awkward situation.

Castiel decided to let it go. Dean was a human and humans were complicated. He watched as Dean dug out their bags focusing on his words. ‘I could have done worse’ What exactly did that mean? He followed Dean to the door of the cabin his head was still spinning.

He opened the door and they stepped in. “Holy crap!” Dean shouted

He stared in awe at the cabin. It was large, decorated with dark wood furniture, large light fixture, and high ceilings. It smelled like an apple pie being baked. The kitchen was large and fully furnished. This was a far cry from what he was imagining.

Dean walked around the living room. “Dude, there’s a hot tub on the back deck! Holy crap!” he looked at Castiel his green eyes huge. “There’s a back deck.” He rushed into the kitchen. “Look at this place, dude!” He gasped. “Do you think the bed is memory foam?”

He chuckled at Dean. “I take it that you like this place?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s nice.” He paused. “Ah, shit, we need to get food. There isn’t any food here.”

“This isn’t a vacation, Dean. It’s a hunt.” He reminded him. Though he enjoyed Dean’s enthusiasm he needed to focus on the task at hand.

He sighed. “Yeah, but we need food. We can’t hunt on an empty stomach.”

“True.” He agreed. He picked up the bags as Dean continued to take stock of the kitchen. He had never seen Dean so excited over a kitchen. He laid the bags on the bed and debated unpacking them.

Dean walked into the bedroom and whistled at the king-sized bed. “I didn’t know they made a bed that big.” He looked around the room and nodded. “So… there’s only one bed… how do you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you sleep now so you need a place to sleep. Do you want the bed or the couch?”

“Why don’t we share the bed?”

He stared at him. His mouth was half-open. “Share, share the bed? Do you even know what you are saying? We can’t it’s,” He shook his head

“Why not? It is a large bed, we can both lay in and not get in each other’s way. You have shared a bed with someone before what’s the big deal?”

“I don’t sleep with dudes.” He shook his head again his face turning red.

“You have shared a bed with Sam before have you not?” He huffed. He was growing annoyed with Dean.

“Not since I was a teen and besides he’s my brother that’s different.”

He sighed out of aggravation. “What is the big deal, Dean? No one will know that you shared a bed with me. Plus we are supposed to be having a honeymoon. What if someone drops by don’t you think they will be suspicious if the happy couple isn’t in bed together.”

“Fine! Fine whatever!” He pointed at him. “But keep your hands to yourself. Come on, let’s go get some food and maybe see some locals about the disappearances.”

Castiel felt a wave of annoyance. Why did Dean think he wasn’t capable of keeping his hands to himself? Did he know of his feelings for him? Did it… bother Dean? Those thoughts echoed in his mind. What if Sam was wrong and Dean wasn’t interested in him sexually?

They got back into the Impala and headed to town. They pulled up to a small grocery store. “God, what a small town,” Dean observed as he turned off the car. “Let’s go in and see if the grocery clerk knows anything about the disappearances. A little town like this, rumors spread fast.”

He wondered about that as he got out of the car. He followed Dean as he picked out a shopping cart. He watched as Dean filled the cart with more than enough food for a small hunt. He thought to protest but they didn’t know how long the hunt would take exactly. He watched Dean as he smiled to himself picking the best meats out of the freezer. Maybe Dean just really wanted a vacation?

They went to the checkout. Castiel stared at the conveyor belt as he loaded up the groceries. Dean elbowed him and whispered. “Don’t be weird.”

Dean flashed a smile at the older woman checking them out. “Hello.”

She looked up at them. “Never seen you, boys, around here before.”

“Yeah, me and my husband are here on our honeymoon,” Dean said

The word husband made Castiel’s heart flip. He watched the woman who just nodded. He had a brief worry about her, not understanding. He had learned that humans weren’t all that tolerant of other humans when it came to sexuality. He didn’t want them to be chased out of town with pitchforks.

“Staying at Lost Ridge cabins then? They are about the only thing around here that brings in the tourists.” She said

Dean nodded. “Yeah, we are,” He pulled out his wallet and a fake credit card. He ran it. “Say, uh, I heard a rumor when we were checking in that someone went missing a few days ago, is that true?”

She shrugged. “That’s what I heard.”

“Know anything about that?”

She shook her head. “Not a hell of a whole lot. Something about them going missing while on that mountain.”

“Is that a common occurrence?” Castiel asked

She eyed him with suspicion. “Not really I guess. It’s a dangerous mountain like most mountains but… most of these people the sheriff said they aren’t experienced climbers so I guess that happens.” She handed Dean his receipt. “You enjoy your stay now.”

“Will do.” He said taking the receipt.

The moment they got out of the grocery store Dean looked to Castiel. “Something seems off around here, or is it just me?” He asked

“To me most human behaviors seem ‘off’ but I do agree with you something is unsettling about this town.” He watched Dean open the trunk of the Impala his gaze lingering on the small patch of flesh that was exposed when his shirt lifted up.

“Okay,” Dean closed the trunk after all the groceries went in. Castiel missed looking at that patch of flesh. “Let’s get these back at the cabin then visit the sheriff.”

He nodded. The two of them boarded the car and headed back to the cabin. On the return trip, Castiel began to notice how desolate the town was. There weren’t many houses along the road to the retreat and most were far apart from one another, and many looked like no one had lived in them in a better half of a decade.

They went up the winding road to the cabin. Castiel studied the other cabins. Many had SUVs in front of them with camping gear stacked on top of them. Children out in the yards playing as parents sat on the porches with beers in their hands. They drove past one that looked more lived-in than the others.

The rocks crunched as they pulled into the parking lot in front of their cabin. They hauled the groceries inside and put them away. They were preparing to don their FBI suits when there was a knock at the door.

Dean looked at Castiel and he looked at him. “Do you want me to get it?” Castiel asked

He shook his head. “No, not until you… your less awkward with people.” He huffed as he headed to the door.

He frowned. He wasn’t that bad… was he? He watched Dean open the door perhaps he could turn this into a learning experience.

“Yeah?” Dean barked at the person on the other side of the door. Castiel was certain that was not how you greeted someone who dropped by for a visit.

There was a short dark-haired woman at the door. She smiled widely at them. “Hello, sorry to drop by suddenly.” She held out her hand. “My name is Sarah. I’m the ranger of this park.”

Dean took her hand. “Nice to meet you, Ranger Sarah.” He smiled at her. “My name is Dean and this is my husband Castiel.”

Castiel took her hand and shook it. “Hello, we are here on our honeymoon. We are husbands.” He noticed Dean give him a side-eyed look. He must have said something wrong, again.

She smiled and laughed awkwardly. “Well, you two make a cute couple. I stopped by to let you all know that we are planning a bonfire tonight.” She handed Dean a pamphlet. “This is a list of activities we have going on so if you want to attend feel free.”

“Thank you.”

She nodded. “You’re welcome. If you need anything, anything at all. Firewood, directions, a stiff drink,” She pointed at the cabin that looked more like a home than a vacation spot. “I live right there.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, thank you. So uh, we heard a rumor at the grocery store,”

“Yeah?” She asked her brown eyes wide with concern.

“That folks have been going missing while rock climbing around here.”

She frowned. “Yeah, it’s… unfortunate. They went up there to hike and never came back.” She sighed. She looked at them chewing on her lips, clearly debating how much to divulge.

“Is it true they were never found?”

She nodded. “The sheriff and me canvased that whole mountain.” She shrugged. “We never did find them, or even a trace of them. It’s like they just up and disappeared.”

“Was there any strange smells? Like sulfur? Or cold spots?”

She frowned at Dean. “No, why would you ask that?”

“Sulfur would indicate demonic activity.” Castiel blurted out without thinking.

Dean cleared his throat and pushed Castiel into the cabin. “Overlook my husband he has an overactive imagination.” He chuckled. He looked back at Castiel and mouthed ‘enough’

Castiel hung his head. He didn’t mean to displease Dean.

“So where is this mountain at exactly? We’ve been dying to take a nice hike.” Dean asked the ranger

She shook her head. “Look, buddy, I don’t know what you two’s deal is but no one is getting up on that mountain, okay? The sheriff has it locked down tight. No one is getting near it until those hikers are found.” She tapped the pamphlet. “There’s plenty of trails here in the park and around town that you don’t need to go near that mountain. So stay away from it.” She stomped off the porch and marched towards the direction of her home.

“I think we angered her.” Castiel pointed at as Dean shut the door.

“No, shit Sherlock.” He tossed the pamphlet on the table

“What’s a Sherlock?”

He rolled his eyes. “We really need to work on your people skills.” He huffed as he stormed into the bedroom

“I did not think they were that bad.” Castiel said as he followed him.

He shook his head. “You don’t tell a ranger you are looking into demonic activity. Especially when we are playing vacationing husbands.” He pulled his suit out of the bag. “Civilians aren’t going to understand what we are looking for. You got to ask the questions without being… direct. Skirt around the subject see what you can learn.”

Castiel got out his suit. “I thought it would be helpful for her to understand why we were asking about the sulfur.” He started to unbutton his shirt.

“The hell are you doing, Cas!” Dean demanded. His face was bright red as he stared at Castiel’s hands. Previous conversation was out the window.

“Getting changed. We are going to ask the sheriff questions are we not?” He tilted his head. He didn’t nderstand why Dean was upset.

Dean looked flustered. “Dude, you don’t,” He shook his head. “You don’t just start changing in front of another dude.”

He looked down at his shirt that was mostly unbuttoned exposing a good part of his chest. “I fail to see what the big deal is. We both have the same anatomy.” He pointed out. Though he tried to ignore how his heart fluttered when he realized that Dean’s gaze was stuck on his chest.

Dean pointed at the bathroom his blush growing deeper. “Go into the bathroom and change.” His voice sounded strained.

He picked up his stuff and retreated into the bathroom. He pushed the thoughts of Dean out of his head. He would have to apologize later. He did not mean to make him uncomfortable. He changed into his old suit. It seemed strange to wear it now. Like it wasn’t him anymore. He stepped out of the bathroom as Dean was adjusting his tie.

“I hope you have clothes on.” He mumbled as he finished with his tie

“Yes, my body is covered.”

He turned around and frowned. “All these years of wearing this you would think you would learn how to fix a tie.” He crossed the room and adjusted the tie. Castiel tried not to think about how Dean was touching his neck or patting his chest when he was done. “Good.” He looked at his hair and sighed. He ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “Comb your hair, Cas.”

“I did.” He stated as Dean took his hand away

“When? Two days ago?”

“This morning.” He noted as he ran his hand through his hair

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever, let’s go.” He sighed

**

The sheriff’s office was a small building that was attached to the town’s post office, which for some reason Dean found to be hilarious.

“A town so small that the police are also the mailmen.” He snickered at himself as they got out of the car. “Okay, Cas, two rules before we go in. Let me do the talking and don’t be weird, capiche?”

“I capiche.”

They walked into the sheriff’s office. There was a front desk with no one attending it. It was weird to be in a police station with no one around. Was this how all small towns were like?

“Think they all went out for coffee?” Dean asked with a chuckle

“Maybe they are searching for the missing hikers.” Seemed like a pausable explanation.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, good point… but someone should be here.” He hit the bell that was on the desk. Silence. Dean hit it again. More silence.

“Dean, I don’t think anyone is here.”

He frowned and hit the bell again harder than before.

“For the love of God, I hear you!” Shouted a voice from the back of the office. An older man walked his way up to the front. He took the bell from Dean and laid it on the file cabinet behind him. “How can I help you?” he asked in an unfriendly tone.

Castiel looked at Dean who grinned. He could see how Dean could have that effect on people. While Dean was… attractive… he could also be a handful, as it was.

“Hi, uh, I am Agent Gahn and this is my partner Agent Wilder.” He showed his badge.

Castiel showed his. “We are FBI.”

The old man looked at the badge then looked at Castiel. “Yeah, I can see that I’m not blind.” He looked to Dean. “So what do you want?”

“We want to ask about the missing hikers?”

He frowned. “Since when is a few missing hikers an FBI case?”

“Since today.” Castiel said

Dean looked at him bitting back a smile. “We got a call today about it. Something about needing more manpower to find these missing people.”

He sighed. “Well, I don’t know what you want me to tell ya.”

“We were hoping to talk to the sheriff.” Dean smiled at the old man.

The old man laughed. “You found him. Do you want a prize?”

Dean blinked. “You’re the sheriff?”

“I am.”

“You seem fairly old to be the sheriff.” Castiel observed

Dean looked at Castiel. His mouth was half-open. He mouthed the word ‘rude’ at him. Castiel didn’t think it was that rude. It was accurate. The man was very old.

The older man rolled his eyes. “I may be old but I’m not ready for retirement not yet.” He smirked at him. “Don’t worry, son, one day you too will be old and some young gun from the FBI will get to remind you that you are old.”

“I meant no disrespect, sir. I was just surprised.” Castiel nodded.

“Well, be surprised. I am the sheriff.” He sat at the desk. “Mostly in name though. My deputy handles most of my work for me now.” He shrugged. “The name is Mike Freely.” He put his feet up on his desk. “So what questions do the mighty FBI have for an old sheriff?”

Castiel shrunk back behind Dean some. Calling the sheriff old will probably hinder their investigation. He hoped not. He didn’t need to make things more difficult for them.

“What can you tell us about the missing hikers?” Dean asked

“Not much. The first group was a set of siblings. They stayed at the cabins, went up the mountain, and never came back. They were here with friends. The friends were who reported them missing. The others were a couple, and one was a nature blogger. All of them went up the mountain, supposed to climb Big Bertha, and never came back.”

“So you’re not even sure if they made it up the mountain?” Dean asked

He shook his head. “No,” He put his feet on the ground and leaned on his elbows. “It’s just weird. It’s like they vanished off the face of the Earth. None of their belongings was ever recovered. You plan a trip up to Big Bertha, you pack stuff. Unless you’re an idiot that is. I can think maybe one amateur wouldn’t bring much but they were hobby climbers. They did this all the time. There wasn’t any bags found, no ropes, nothing.”

“What is this Big Bertha you keep referencing?” Castiel asked

“It’s the largest rock on the mountain. They say you climb up there you are closer to God.” He smirked. “Maybe that’s what happened to them. They met God and went to heaven.”

“Is that what you think happened? That they met God?”

The sheriff laughed. “No, what type of stupid are you?”

Castiel flinched. The sheriff’s words stung. He was not a nice man.

“What do you think happened then?” Dean asked

“Personally, I don’t think they made it up there.” He shrugged. “I think they caught the first bus out of town and left.”

“If they left wouldn’t someone know about it?” Castiel suggested. “The first group was on vacation with friends it would be strange for them to leave without telling their friends first.”

“Millennials are strange.” The sheriff shrugged. “Maybe they got abducted by aliens. Hell, I don’t know. All I know is they are gone and we can’t find them.”

“You even got anyone out there looking for them?” Dean asked. “No offense doesn’t seem like you got much manpower here.”

He glared at them. “Yeah, smarty, I got a guy out there. He went all over that mountain and they didn’t find shit.” He got up from the desk. “Look we don’t like having the feds up in our business so I suggest you take you’re pretty boy partner and get the hell out of my office.”

“Okay, thanks for your time,” Dean said trying to be polite

They walked out of the office. Castiel sighed. “That was difficult.”

Dean put his notebook in his pocket. “Small town sheriffs don’t take too kindly to federal agents. I’ve run into it a few times.”

They walked to the Impala. Dean sighed. “What do you think is going on?”

“I don’t know but I doubt they are leaving town as the sheriff thinks.” 

He nodded. “Same. That many people, and you are right. Those siblings would have contacted their friends if they were going home.”

“Do you think the sheriff is hiding something?”

He chewed on his lip. “I don’t know. It is weird. Come on let’s get back to the cabin.”

They got in the car. Dean sighed. “I’ll call Sam to see if he what else he might have found out. Tomorrow, you and I are going to get up on that mountain.”

“How? Didn’t they close it down?”

“We’ll figure out some way.” He stated as he started the car.

Castiel appreciated Dean’s optimism. He wasn’t someone who gave up easily. That’s what made him a good hunter, a good man, he was always determined to see things through. He admired that about him.

**

They arrived at the cabin quickly. The sun was slowly setting on the horizon casting light through the trees creating a scene of beauty. Castiel wished they were here for a more positive reason. It was beautiful but plaguing the back of his mind he thought of the missing hikers who would never see another sunset again or another sunrise. He swallowed hard as he followed Dean into the cabin. The scent of burning wood filled the area. Clearly, the other renters weren’t bothered by the missing hikers. Or perhaps they didn’t know.

Dean began to remove his FBI suit the moment he stepped into the living room. “Alright, let me get out of this monkey suit then I’ll make diner.” He said as he walked into the bedroom.

Castiel removed his tan coat and hung it on the coatrack. He slipped off his suit jacket as he walked into the bathroom. Dean was going to prepare them diner and that made him feel… excited. He enjoyed Dean’s cooking. Ever since they started living in the bunker, Dean had been slowly getting custom to making meals. Sam was still hesitant to call the place home, but, it warmed Castiel’s heart to see Dean happy and making a home. He knew how much home meant to Dean. It was something he had wanted that he never got, his home was his car for most of his life but to have an actual home meant the world to Dean. Castiel could understand. He didn’t know what it meant to have a home when he was in heaven. He supposed, heaven was his home but it never felt like it. He didn’t know true peace, the true feeling of belonging until he met the Winchesters. There he had found his home.

He was back into his regular clothes as he walked out of the bathroom. It didn’t sit well with him to be relaxing while there was a case ongoing. Dean was in front of the stove frying up hamburgers. “Do you need help?”

Dean looked back at him. “If you want to.”

He walked up to the counter and proceeded to slice up a tomato for the burgers. Dean had taught him proper vegetable cutting but he was still working on it. “Is this fine?”

He looked at it. “A little thick but okay. Try to cut it thinner, and please don’t cut yourself.”

He stuck his tongue out to concentrate. He edged the knife closer to his hand. He had defeated many an enemy surely he could defeat a tomato. He sliced it the piece was so thin he could almost see through it. He huffed out a sigh. “I was one of the best angle blade wielders in the garrison but I can’t cut a tomato.” He looked at Dean. “What is wrong with me?”

“Not a damn thing.” Dean flipped the burger. “That shit takes practice. Much like your angel blade, ain’t like you were born with it in your hands.”

He cut another thin slice and added it with the other one. “I technically wasn’t ‘born’.” He air quoted. He wrapped up the tomato and put it in the fridge. He got out the lettuce and tore off a few leaves. He was fairly certain this was the only way Dean got his vegetables. Sam had taught him that vegetables were an important food group. He needed to get Dean to eat them too so he put a bigger leaf out for Dean’s burger.

He looked up from the skillet. “You weren’t ‘born’?”

“Not like in the human sense. I wasn’t grown in a womb for nine months.”

He stuck his lip out in thought. Castiel admitted he liked it when Dean did that. “So then… what God just waved his hands and said ‘let there be Cas’.”

He shrugged. “I am not exactly sure. None of us know exactly. We were just created. Perhaps that is what Father did. You saw when he recreated me, correct?”

Dean nodded. As he watched Castiel get the buns out. “Yeah, true you did sort of just snap back into existence.” He flipped the burgers over and added cheese. “It’s kind of weird.”

“What is?”

“That… if that’s how it is that you were just sort of poof there’s a Cas.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, be weird to be born full-grown.” He frowned. “Course,” He chuckled without humor. “This is coming from the guy who didn’t have much of a childhood.”

Castiel laid his hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Dean.”

“Thanks.” He said softly as he took the burgers off the skillet and placed them on the buns. He grabbed chips and poured them on the plate. Licking off the chip grease off his fingers. “If your still hungry let me know I’ll fry you another one.” Dean said as they headed to the table.

“Thank you, Dean.” He sat down at the table. He took a bite out of his. The flavor hit his mouth. Dean had made him burgers before but he was still surprised by how tasty they were. “These are wonderful.”

He smiled at the compliment. “One of these days, Cas, I’m going to teach you how to cook.”

He nodded. “I would like that. That way I can cook for you.”

Dean blushed. “Y-yeah.” He stammered as he ate his food.

They ate in silence. Dean fried them up another set of burgers and then after they had consumed the greasy meal he called Sam. “Hey, Sam, learn anything else?” he asked as he put the phone on speaker.

“No, not really, I’ve been digging but so far nothing. But… I did dig through the old cases, seems like there’s been a few monsters roll through there before but they don’t last long.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we got one instance where a woman was found with the blood drained out of her, then two days later a guy was beheaded.”

“Hunters have been here before,” Dean stated. He looked at Castiel and frowned.

“Or one lives there.” Sam offered

“If we could find that hunter it would make this easier.” Castiel stated

Dean chewed on his lips. “Or… those missing hikers maybe they were monsters.”

“It would be a good cover,” Sam said through the phone. “Some hunter is ganking them then saying they went missing.”

“But why report them at all? That would just raise suspicions.” Castiel said

Dean shrugged. “Don’t know but we got to be on the lookout for another hunter. If he is working a case here they might be territorial. We don’t need some asshat busting up in here with guns blazing.”

Castiel nodded. Though he doubted anyone would willingly come up here to attack Dean. The Winchester brothers were pretty famous among hunters.

Dean thanked Sam and hung up the phone. “Well, until we get up on that mountain we have nothing to go on.” He shrugged. “We should rest up for tomorrow.” He looked towards the back porch. “I think I’m going to hit the hot tub.” He smirked. “It’s swanky cabin version of a magic fingers.” He laughed. He got up from the table and dropped the dishes in the sink to be washed later, if ever. He stared at Castiel for a moment. “So what are you going to do?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Read, maybe do some research of my own.”

Dean frowned. “Nah, man, join me in the hot tub.”

He tilted his head. “I don’t have the appropriate attire.”

“We’ll… we’ll make do,” Dean said. He headed into the bedroom and Castiel followed him. Dean opened his bags. “We can always go in our underwear.” He suggested as he pulled out an extra pair of boxers. He frowned at his bag. “The hell.” He reached back in his bag and pulled out another bag. He opened it to find a pair of swim trunks in there.

“Where did those come from?” Castiel asked as Dean stared at the swimwear.

“No idea, I didn’t pack them…” Then he rolled his eyes. “Bet Sam stuck them in my bag.” He tossed them on the bed as if they personally insulted them. “Bet he set this all up.”

Castiel tilted his head. “Set this up?” Then he paused. Sam had suggested that he take the moment to tell Dean how he felt. Was Sam trying to push Dean into it too? He stared at the swim trunks

“Honeymoon suite was the only one available my ass.” Dean huffed. “Sam’s just trying to,” He stopped himself as he stared at Castiel. “I… nevermind.” He grabbed one of the trunks. “Beats going in our underwear.” He handed a pair to Castiel. “Put these on.”

Castiel took the trunks and made his way back to the bathroom and changed. He stepped out of the bathroom to see Dean standing by the porch door in his trunks. He tried not to gasp out loud. Dean was breathtaking. Freckles dotted his skin, he was fit but not too muscular, he could still see the outline of his handprint on his arm. He caught himself staring at the thatch of light hair that disappeared into the trunks. The best part was the expression that Dean had as he stared at Castiel as well.

“How do I look?” Castiel asked trying to sound… what was the word seductive. Just like he had seen in the movies.

“G-good,” he swallowed hard and chuckled. “Really, good, I… I’m shocked. I didn’t expect you to be fit.”

“Jimmy was also a devote member of the gym apparently.” Castiel shrugged. He had never really taken a moment to appreciate the vessel he had chosen. Jimmy was someone he needed at the moment. He never thought about the form itself much until he had been in it for a few years.

“You uh, you know now that you are human you are going to have to maintain that.” He pointed at him scrolling up and down with his finger

“I know.” He sighed looking down at his body. He would have to use the gym once in a while.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh, yeah.” He picked up a six-pack from the table. “Beer. I got that…” He pointed outside. “So let’s uh, do this.”

Castiel followed Dean outside. He smiled. He had an impact on Dean as much as Dean had an impact on him. He watched as Dean climbed into the hot tub; his leg muscles flexing. He licked his lips. There was something about Dean’s legs that were… fascinating.

“Ah,” Dean moaned. He tilted his head back as he sunk into the water. “This is life.” He cracked open one eye. “You getting in, Cas? Or are you going to stand there and freeze?”

“Oh uh,” He stammered as he was more focused on Dean’s neck. He slowly walked over to the tub. He eased a toe in. It was warm and felt rather pleasant. He eased his whole leg in and soon sunk into the tub. He let out a content sigh. He looked over at Dean. “I find this to be pleasant.”

“Hell ya, it is.” Dean handed him a beer.

He twisted the cap off and took a long sip. It was nice to relax after the busy few days. Sure they still had a hunt to do but he could see why Dean wanted to relax. Suddenly the water began to bubble. He leaped out of the tub so fast he almost dropped his beer.

“Calm down.” Dean scolded. “I just turned on the bubbles is all.”

“Oh… oh, the tub is producing bubbles. I thought for a moment the water started boiling.”

“Nope.”

He got back in the tub. The bubbles splashed along his back creating an interesting sensation. He liked it. His eyes fell on Dean as he wrapped his lips around his bottle of beer. Castiel found himself wishing he was that bottle of beer. He cleared his throat and sipped on his own. He didn’t know what to make of these new feelings towards Dean. Everything Dean did sent jolts of excitement through him. He wanted… he wanted Dean. His body offered up images of Dean beneath him, of him kissing Dean’s neck and him whimpering his name. He swallowed hard as he felt his blood run hot. He had to stop his mind before he got an erection in the tub.

“What’s on your mind, Cas?” Dean asked

“What? Oh uh, nothing.” Castiel stumbled over his words grateful to have his mind brought out of his thoughts.

“Are you… adjusting okay? You know with the whole human thing?”

He sighed. “Yes, I suppose I am. Though there are still things I am adjusting to.” He ran his hand through the water. “This for example. Giving into… comforts.”

Dean hmmed and nodded. “I was hoping it would help you relax. You’ve seemed tense since we left the bunker.”

“I apologize.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I know it’s probably hard. Well, I mean,” He shrugged. “I don’t know, know exactly but I can imagine that it must be hard for you.”

“It… it is. I have…” He sighed. “My mind wanders in directions I don’t expect often and it can be disturbing.”

Dean smirked. “Oh, is that so? You thinking about food or sex?”

He flinched nearly dropping his beer in the tub. “I uh,”

“It’s fine you don’t have to tell me.” He finished off his bottle and opened a new beer. “But you know what, we should get you laid.” He drank deeply from the beer. “You still go your v card and now as a human.” He chuckled. “You got to get rid of that.”

Was Dean making an offer? He felt his face heat up. His mind racing with a million thoughts of him with Dean. “I uh,”

He smiled. “I can take you to a brothel again.” He winked. “See if it goes better now.”

“No!” he shouted without meaning to. This wasn’t what he wanted at all. He didn’t want to go into a den of inequity again in the quest for flesh. He wanted Dean’s flesh. His face grew hotter at the thought. Oh no, that was what he wanted was Dean. He didn’t want some random woman to be his first he wanted Dean. He wanted his quest for flesh to end with Dean beneath him squirming and calling out his name, and he really needed to stop thoughts like that.

“Geez, Cas, no need to shout.” He sat down his beer. “We’ll get you laid some other way.” He looked at the beer in thought. “Are you… dude, I never thought to ask are you into dudes? Is that what the problem is? Because I thought you had the hots for Meg so I just made assumptions on my end.”

He froze as he watched Dean put all the pieces together. “No, I… I don’t know how to say this.” He sighed.

“It’s okay, Cas.” He shrugged. “I don’t judge.”

“I’m not… no that’s not right.” He sighed. “I don’t believe I have a preference.” He confessed. Now that he thought about it, he had found himself attracted to both men and women though Dean was really the only man he found attractive.

“Okay. So… what’s the big deal then? They ain’t going to bite your head off you know.”

“I… I want it to be special. To be with someone special. Not some random person who is doing it for money. I want someone who… wants me back.” He studied Dean’s expression trying to read it.

Dean puckered his lips then nodded. “I can respect that.” He sipped his beer. His expression was neutral and unreadable

He sighed studying his beer bottle “If I may ask, why are you so… interested in me losing my virginity?”

“I uh,” Dean’s face flushed. “I think that a man should get laid at least once before he dies. Given our line of work you know that might come sooner than later.”

He finished his beer. The buzz warming his body. “You do realize I have already died though so you are too late.”

“I guess you’re right.” He nodded

He giggled with a nod. “You’re too late, Dean.” He took another beer from the pack and drank it. “I like this.” He held up the beer. “It makes me happy.”

Dean laughed uneasily. “Take it easy on the happy juice there, buddy. You haven’t drunk that much you probably got a low alcohol tolerance. Plus, you sort of chugged that last one.”

“Bah,” he waved him off. The world felt wonderful and floaty. He almost felt like an angel again. “You know.” He looked at Dean and Dean was staring at him. “You got pretty eyes.”

He chuckled. “Uh, th-thanks.”

“I mean it, I think they are the prettiest green ever. You should have seen your soul.” He stood up suddenly. “It was bright and uh, shiny.” The world felt like it was spinning now but though since it was spinning already… did he feel the world turning on its axis again.

“Cas, uh,” Dean stood up and grabbed onto his shoulders when he weaved. “Dude, you would be someone who would get drunk on one beer.” He sighed.

“It’s cold.” He mumbled. “Why did we get in an outdoor tub on a cold day?” he started to list over to one side and Dean straightened him up.

“Alright, that’s enough relaxation for you. Come on bedtime.” He helped him out of the tub.

“I don’t want to go to bed. I can’t sleep. It doesn’t, it doesn’t make sense. I lay there with my eyes closed and I don’t understand how it works.”

They walked back into the cabin. Dean guided him to the bedroom. “Let’s get you out of those swim trunks.” He walked him into the bathroom picking up his pajamas along the way.

Castiel giggled as he took the clothes. “I’ll get these on so… so you don’t have to.” He changed into his clothes once he dried off. His hair was still damp but he didn’t care he was warm from the beer. He strumbled out of the bathroom to find the bed turned down for him.

Dean smiled at him. “Come on, Cas.” He took his arm and lead him to the bed. “Get some sleep.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to.”

He sighed. “Cas, come on. Just get in the bed and get some sleep.”

He laid his hand on Dean’s face. “Only if you will join me.” He felt Dean’s face heat under his hand.

Dean stared at him like an animal in headlights. “I… let me get changed. Okay.” He eased Castiel onto the bed. Dean walked back outside. He heard a thud most likely Dean recovering the hot tub. Dean walked back in with the rest of the beer and put it in the fridge. He went into the bathroom and got changed. He stood there by the bed staring at it as if he didn’t know what to do. He sighed. “Move over.”

Castiel moved over and soon the sheets were filled with the warmth of Dean getting into bed with him. He laid there for a minute unsure of what to do. Should he cuddle him? Should he just try to go to sleep? He rolled over on his side facing Dean.

He was facing away from him. He huffed out a sigh. “Go to sleep, Cas.”

He laid there staring at the back of his head for a minute. He didn’t know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do but he didn’t think Dean would like it much.

“I can feel you staring at me.” He rolled over suddenly glaring at him.

“Sorry. I just… I don’t know what to do.”

He sighed a long-suffering sigh. “Come here.” He pulled him closer to him.

Castiel’s face heated up. “Dean, I… I…”

“Shh, don’t overthink it. Just relax and let your mind drift. Think of something… awesome like a long walk in the park, or drifting in a boat in a lake. Something that makes you feel happy.”

“Feel happy?” He repeated. He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder. “This. This makes me feel happy.”

Dean made a noise of some sort and started stroking his hair. “Okay, Cas.”

He closed his eyes and focused on Dean’s breathing and the light touches in his hair. In and out, his breathing was soft and steady. He listened to his heartbeat as it sped up then slowly slowed down. He focused on the sounds… of the essence of Dean laying beside him. Sleep took him then and his dreams were full of him and Dean.


	3. Chapter 3

Something to Give

Chapter 3

Castiel woke up very aware he was in bed alone. He sighed. He probably frightened Dean with his behavior last night. He couldn’t blame Dean, his behavior was unbecoming. He sighed. He wished he could vanish into the bed and never be seen again. How could he face Dean now? It would be... awkward. He groaned as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He should be used to things being awkward. Dean had told him many times in his time knowing him, that he was awkward and weird. He stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t avoid Dean forever. He tossed the bedspread back and slowly got out of bed. His head hurt and his mouth was dry. He groaned as his head pounded. He didn’t know if he would ever drink again.

He caught a whiff of coffee. It smelt heavenly to him at this point. He glanced at himself in the mirror he was dressed. He didn’t smell too offensive so he decided to head to the kitchen area. Dean was at the table with a large mug of coffee in front of him. “Um,” He hesitated. “Good morning.”

“Morning, Cas.” Dean greeted. “Get yourself some coffee. I’ll make breakfast in a minute.” Dean was acting as if nothing had happened last night.

He stood there staring at him. “Uh, what?”

“What? What is it?” He raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. “I… sorry about last night. I know it was probably uncomfortable for you.” He rubbed his arm as he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He didn’t want to go through with this he just wanted to go back to bed and pretend none of this ever happened.

He shrugged. “Didn’t bother me any.” He sipped his coffee. “As long as you slept it’s okay in my book.”

He raised an eyebrow. Did Dean mean that? He stared at Dean who continued to sip his coffee as he read something on his laptop. He wasn’t bothered by it? Castiel thought that was strange. He expected Dean to put up a front to emphasize that they were ‘friends’ and how ‘friends’ don’t do that. He was preparing for the personal space lecture again and everything else. But… Dean wasn’t. Dean was drinking his coffee as if their cuddling was a normal thing between them. His head hurt too bad to come to any conclusions from this.

Dean looked up from his computer. “Dude, get yourself some coffee.” He said as if he could sense Castiel’s headache

He nodded. He headed over to the coffee pot and poured himself a generous cup. He added creamer and sugar, then joined Dean at the table. “Any new leads?” He asked

“No, not that I can tell.” He let out a frustrated sigh. He ran his hands through his hair. “I keep going over this stuff. It just doesn’t make any sense. Whatever it is, it’s good. There’s not a hint to anything as to what it could be.”

“That is most unfortunate. We cannot hunt it if we don’t know what it is.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Dean huffed. He slammed his laptop shut so hard Castiel thought it might have cracked. He got up and made his way over to the stove. He got out eggs and bacon then began making breakfast. “You were an angel… do you know of anything that fits the bill? Maybe it’s something that just got out. That no one knows about.”

Castiel thought about it. Monsters have been around for nearly as long as man had. He didn’t know much about them before meeting the Winchesters however. Yes, he knew of them but he never exactly had to face them. They were beneath him, a mear blip on his radar. His main focus in the garrison was fighting demons not average monsters. “No, not anything I know of. But honestly, I don’t know that much outside of what you and Sam taught me.”

Dean looked over his shoulder at him and frowned. “What no heavenly smiting of monsters?”

He shook his head. “No, we never fought monsters other than demons.” He sipped his coffee. “And it was rare we fought those.”

“I forgot you guys had an ‘off hands’ policy about everything.”

“They thought it was better for humans that way… but mostly I think a lot of angels thought they were better than humans.”

Dean laid out a plate in front of him loaded with eggs and bacon. He looked into his eyes. “Did you?”

“Did I what?” he asked almost afraid to take the plate from Dean.

“Think you were better than humans?” His tone was harsh. He all but glared at Castiel. He could see the wheels turning in Dean’s head. The seeds of doubt blossoming into contempt. Dean was most likely telling himself that he was unworthy of Castiel.

He sighed. “I used to.” He took the plate. His fingers gently touched Dean’s but he didn’t yank them away. “But then I met you and I got to know humanity.”

“Hmph.” He grunted as he returned to the stove and got his plate. He returned to his seat, his eyes no longer a storm of doubt and self-loathing. “So what is it? About me I mean, that made you change your mind?”

“Its many things, Dean, it’s difficult to describe. But you are… special. Your soul was is so bright, even though you were in Hell for so long. You… challenged me. I used to occasionally question orders but when you… showed me what it was to be free that was when I started to see things differently.” He picked up his fork. “I just wish all of the angels had seen it too.” He lamented for his fallen brethren. His mistake of trying to teach them how to be free.

He nodded and began to eat.

“You know…” He started. “Naomi told me when she was reprogramming me that it wasn’t the first time she had done it.” He sighed. “I find myself wondering… how much of me and my memories I have lost over the centuries.”

He grunted. “Hearing about that bitch pisses me off. I wish we got to gank her ourselves for what she did to you.” He stabbed his eggs as if they were Naomi.

“I am sorry, Dean.” He said as he watched Dean attack his plate of food.

“For what? You’re my friend of course I’m going to get mad when some bitch is messing with their head.”

“Friend?” He hissed. He didn’t want to hear that word from Dean. That word stabbed his heart like a knife. Dean only wanted to be friends. No matter how hard Castiel tried, Dean was satisfied with the status quo. He had thought they were bonding, evolving into more than friends after long last. “Of course I am just a friend.” He grunted. That would be all he was to Dean, wasn’t it?

“Dude, who pissed in your corn flakes?” He asked tossing his fork on the plate with a loud clatter

“I don’t understand that? I’m not even having corn flakes, and you served me so if there is urine in my food it’s from you.”

Dean groaned as he covered his face. “It’s an expression.” He sighed. “Why are you mad?”

He set down his fork. “Why do you call us friends?”

He blinked. “Because we are, or did we suddenly become enemies overnight?”

Castiel stood up and took his plate to the sink. “Sure friends.” He finished off his coffee. “I am going to take a shower.” He stormed off towards the bathroom leaving Dean looking confused in the kitchen.

He turned on the water then gathered some fresh clothes. He stripped quickly and got in the shower. He sighed loudly. Stupid Dean. Stupid, stupid Dean. He rested his head against the wall. He was frustrated and confused. He slapped the wall. He wanted Dean. That much he understood. No, he needed Dean like he needed food. He needed him to understand that he loved him. How could he get Dean to see it? Especially if Dean keeps considering them friends. He didn’t want that, well, he wanted more than that. He let the water wash over him. Maybe he should just storm into the kitchen and kiss Dean senseless. That sounded like a great idea. But what if Dean wasn’t receptive to it? Then what? More awkward meals is what. He couldn’t stand the awkward tension. He didn't want to make it worse.

He got clean then got dressed. He walked out of the bathroom. He was a man on a mission. He slammed the door open and found Dean standing there outside the bathroom. “Dean.” He growled

“Sorry I was… getting ready to jump in and get clean.” He chuckled

Castiel’s eyes fell on Dean’s lips as Dean licked them. Why was he always doing that around him? He followed the tongue with his eyes. He could do it. He could kiss Dean right now. He looked into Dean’s eyes then back at his lips.

“Cas, I,” Whatever Dean was going to say it was lost because Castiel claimed his prize. He grabbed the side of Dean’s face and latched his lips onto his wet plush ones. Dean let out a startled noise. Castiel decided to stop the kiss. He had made his point there was no point in making Dean uncomfortable. Dean, however, had plans of his own. He grabbed the back of Castiel’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Castiel was shocked when he felt the warmth of Dean’s lips again. It was like heaven. Well, not exactly but it was pure bliss. They swapped kisses back and forth chasing one another for more. Castiel pushed Dean up against the bathroom door and raided his mouth. He wanted more, he needed more, he wanted it all and he wanted it now.

Dean eventually did break off the kiss. “Whoa, whoa, Cas,” he said as he pushed Castiel away. “Got to calm down there for a minute.”

He was panting. He didn’t want to calm down he wanted Dean. He went for him again this time latching onto Dean’s neck. He let out a throaty groan as Castiel nipped and sucked at his neck. The taste of Dean was overwhelming. He wanted, he lusted for Dean in a way he had never wanted before. Angels didn’t want, they didn’t lust, they did they were told. But as a human, Castiel was filled with unknown emotions, things he couldn’t understand, and here he was lusting after Dean in ways he had never understood before. He groaned as he enjoyed the sensation of Dean on his lips. He was satisfied but he wanted more. More from Dean he wanted everything.

“Cas, Cas, stop, stop as much as I want this you got to stop.” He pulled him off again

Castiel let out a frustrated grunt. “Why?” he demanded. He leaned in again trying to get closer to Dean again.

“It’s too much okay. I uh,” he breathed. He laid his hand on Castiel’s shoulders. “Please, just, wait.”

He looked into Dean’s green eyes. They were wide with fear and many other emotions. Dean wasn’t ready yet. He backed away. He was embarrassed. His face burned hot. How could he let his emotions get away from him like that? “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to get out of control.” He said softly. His body still screamed in need for Dean like he needed to breathe. “I just… I wanted you to understand that… I want to be more than friends with you. I’m not good with words so I assumed action would be better.”

“I’m not so good at words either.” He laughed humorlessly. He sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He cupped his face and lifted it. He stared into his eyes. “I,” He licked his lush lips and Castiel’s mind wanted to latch his on them again. “I need time to process this. Okay. I uh, God,” He sighed. “Can we wait until after the hunt? Then we can talk things out.”

He tilted his head. “Why wait?”

“Because I don’t want to rush into this. You haven’t been human for that long and I… I want you to be sure about this.” He smiled. “You only get to have your first time once. I don’t want you to regret it.”

“I won’t.” Castiel huffed. The buzzing underneath his skin began to slow down. “I…”

“Cas, I understand. Look, whatever this is, it’s been going on since Purgatory and I… I don’t want it to be a one-off. I want you. But I want it to be special not some half-hazard grope session in the shower. I want to have a relationship with you. I want to be more than friends with you. I just wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.”

He frowned. “Dean,” He looked into his green eyes. He saw warmth and love reflected in those eyes. He licked his lips. “I understand.”

Dean smiled faintly. He patted Castiel’s face. “After the hunt is done. We will talk about this going on between us.” He nodded as he slipped into the bathroom.

Castiel stared at the door for a minute before he moved into the living room. He looked down at the papers and reports they had gathered about the hunt. He picked up one reading over it. Their next course of action was to head up the trail and see what they could find. They would find no clues in this cabin they needed to get out there.

Dean walked into the living room still drying off his hair with a towel. There was a tenseness in the air now so thick Castiel thought he could cut it. He could now see why Dean wanted to wait until after the hunt. These raw emotions would get in the way. They were in the way now and they weren’t even working. What if it impacts the hunt? “Find anything out?” Dean asked as he tossed the towel on the back of a chair.

“No more than what we already knew.” He sighed. He tossed the paper on the table. “I believe we won’t learn more until we reach ground zero.”

H nodded. “Yeah.” He tied up his boots. “Well get your boots on and let’s head on out.”

Castiel got up and got his boots from the corner. He never wore work boots like Dean until he started hunting. Dean told him his dress boots wouldn’t be wise to wear while hunting. He could see why. They weren’t practical. He attempted to lace his boots but was struggling with it. Why didn’t humans make footwear easier to manage?

Dean snickered. “Here,” He got up from the chair and walked over to him. “Let me help.” He knelt to Castiel’s feet and started to lace the shoes. “Like this, Cas, you zig-zag them until you get them done up.”

Castiel hmmed in response. He was rather enjoying the view of Dean below him. He smiled as Dean tied them up.

“Not too tight?”

“Nope, not too tight.”

“Good. Let’s go.” He straightened up and Castiel had an urge to kiss him again.

Castiel’s breathe hitched. “Dean,” He started

He looked into his eyes. His grass green eyes melted his heart. Beauty, Dean was the very image of beauty. “Don’t forget your coat, Cas.” He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He turned to the door leaving Castiel standing in the living room feeling lost.

Castiel had his hand on the warm spot where Dean had kissed him. He sighed as he got his coat. He walked outside to find Dean standing there by the car staring at the street. He was about to ask him about it when he noticed what Dean was staring at.

In the street, the ranger Sarah was standing there with a group of hikers. Dean looked back at Castiel and nodded at the crowd. He followed Dean to the crowd.

“So we understand, this is a search, not a rescue, if you find one of the missing then call out. Then we will call the proper authorities. They have been in the woods for a while now, they are probably starving and might be freezing. Time is of the essence, if they aren’t found then we need to start considering this a recovery operation.” Sarah said. She sighed. “Are we clear?”

The people around murmured in agreement.

“Okay then, we meet back here at 4:30. Stay in contact, we don’t need to lose anyone else. Dismissed.” She said and the crowd dispersed in multiple directions.

“So… what’s going on?” Dean asked the ranger

“We are conducting a search.”

“Can we get in on it?” Dean asked. “Me and my husband are great trackers.”

“Sure.” She said crossing her arms. “Just don’t get lost out there.”

“Oh, we won’t,” Dean said as she handed them fluorescent orange vests. Dean put one on and handed the other to Castiel. He nodded at the car and they headed to it.

They got in and Dean started it. Classic rock filled the cabin of the car. Dean smiled to himself as he listed to the tunes. He eased the car out of the parking space and started the short drive to the trailhead.

“Is it wise to get in the middle of the search? What if we find the monster while we are searching?” Castiel asked

“It’ll be fine, Cas, remember they don’t want people hiking up there. This way our presence won’t draw any suspicions.”

He nodded. “I see.”

They made it to the trailhead, Dean eased the Impala into one of the parking spots. No one had made it there yet. “Hmm, we must be early to the party.” Dean observed

“Perhaps no one has realized that people were vanishing from this mountain?” Castiel suggested

“Well, we are only half sure they are vanishing from this mountain.”

They got out of the car and rounded the back to the trunk. Dean pulled out two duffle bags and loaded them up with weapons.

“Do we not have any hiking gear?” Castiel asked as Dean checked the shotgun for bullets.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Dude, this is a hunt, not a nature hike, remember?”

“It’s not wise to go on a hike unprepared.” He huffed

He handed him his bag. “We got all that we need. You, me, and these weapons. We find the missing people and we gank what’s got them. Everyone goes home.”

“Then you and I can talk about our relationship?” He asked his body buzzing with anticipation.

Dean flushed. “Yeah, uh, yeah, we will sit down and have a big long talk about… you and me…” He sighed “But right now try not to worry about it, we got to focus on hunting this thing. We can’t afford distractions, Cas.” He laid his hand on his shoulder. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.”

Castiel’s heart rate increased. Dean meant that he did. He was afraid of losing him in a hunt. He swallowed. They started down the trail. What would that mean for their future though? There was always going to be a hunt and the next hunt. This was Dean’s life. He was a hunter. He killed things to save people. If not for Dean the world would have ended on multiple occasions. He was a hero and Castiel was proud of him, but, where that put him in his life. He chewed on his lips. He wanted to be important to Dean. He didn’t doubt that he was, but he wanted to be as important any anything else. He didn’t want to be tossed aside the very moment a hunt came up. Or to be viewed as a burden that Dean had to protect at all times.

Suddenly, Dean stopped. “Son of a bitch.” He cursed

He snapped out of his mental gymnastics to see what the issue was. Before them, was a giant rock facing, no doubt the Big Bertha that the sheriff mentioned. “This is why we needed hiking gear.” Castiel deadpanned

Dean looked up to the heavens with a scoff. “Well excuse me for not knowing about a giant rock right in the middle of the trail.” He pulled on the duffle bag on his shoulders. “I thought this thing was deeper in the trail or off on its own.”

Castiel looked around the rock until he saw a sign and a set of stairs. “Dean,” he called out to him. “There are stairs.”

He walked up behind him. “Great,” he huffed as he looked up the stairs that seemed to go on forever. “Nine million stairs.”

“According to this sign, it is only one hundred,” Castiel said as he read over the sign that bragged about the mighty man-made stairs that allowed all to see the top of the giant rock.

“Only one hundred he says.” He rolled his eyes. “Wait until you start walking up them and then you will see about only one hundred.” He started up the stairs with a dramatic sigh. “Come on, Cas.”

Castiel followed behind him. “Sarcasm doesn’t aid in the situation, Dean.”

“It certainly makes me feel better.” He scoffed.

He rolled his eyes but smiled. He enjoyed Dean’s company even when he was being a brat. He'd give anything to be with him forever. He looked at Dean’s hand. He had an urge to grab his hand. What would Dean say? Would Dean pull away? Or would he let him hold his hand? “Dean,”

“Yeah?” He asked gruffly as he focused on going up the stairs. “Dude, has this been a hundred stairs yet?”

“No, it’s only been forty.”

“Son of a bitch.” He groaned.

“Um, I have a question,”

Dean stopped and sucked in some air. “I got to work out more. What’s up, Cas?”

“Can we… can I hold your hand?” He felt childish after he asked. Dean looked at him and blinked. Perhaps this was too much. He considered tossing himself down the stairs out of embarrassment but then… Dean took his hand.

“Fine by me. Just let go if we get in a fight.” He teased.

The two of them continued up the long flight of stairs holding hands. Castiel imagined this is what a date must be like. He tried to hold in his smile, this was a hunt, not a date. They reached the top of the stairs and Dean let out a dramatic sigh.

“We made it.” He said smiling at Castiel

“Yes, yes, we did.” He looked around the top of the rock was flat and mostly trail. It must not have been Big Bertha.

Dean walked up to a trail sign. “Well, that wasn’t Bertha, the sign says Bertha is about a mile that way.” He pointed down the trail

Castiel nodded. He looked around the clearing. There weren’t any clear signs of any struggles here. “I don’t believe they were taken from here. If they were there would be broken branches.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, but everything looks okay from here.” Dean started to walk along the edge starting at the bushes and trees growing around the trail. He stopped and frowned staring down the mountain.

“What is it?” Castiel walked to him and looked over the edge into the clearing. He could see a small cabin from where they were.

Dean looked at him with pursed lips. “You uh, think maybe those fine folks might know something?”

He frowned at the cabin. “From here it doesn’t even look liveable. I can see holes in the roof.”

“Yeah,” Dean winked. “Great place for a monster to hold up in wouldn’t you say.”

He nodded. Monsters did tend to live in abandoned buildings. Some of the worst places they would set up shop in. “This would be great hunting grounds. Not many people would think to look down and notice a cabin and the cabin would be well hidden during the summer when there is more foliage.”

“Bet they hide out along the trail and grab folks and drag them down there. Come on,” He nodded towards the trail. “Let’s see if we can find a safe way down.”

They walked down the trail all the while scanning the edge looking for a trail down to the cabin. Castiel spotted a tree with a small red ribbon tied on it. “Dean,”

Dean stopped to look at it. “Park service puts these up sometimes to mark trails or mark trees…” he looked around. “I see a clear path though.” He pointed.

Castiel looked at the small trail. To most people, they would assume it was an animal trail. He kicked some of the leaves away. “Look at this, Dean,” He pointed at the obvious drag marks down that grooved the trail.

Dean sucked his teeth. “Looks like whatever freak it is, hides up here grabs folks then drags them off the trail.”

“And down to the cabin.” He stared at the grooves. “It even hid its trail. Clearly, it has some intelligence.”

“Hmm.” Dean looked around the trees. “I don’t see anywhere it could hide though.” He started down the path.

Castiel followed him being careful not to slip on the already wet dirt. The trees grew denser the deeper down the path they went. His heart thudded in his chest. What awaited them at the bottom? Just then, he heard a noise from behind. “Dean,” He warned.

Dean stopped in his tracks.

“I heard something.”

Dean moved closer to Castiel. He drew out his machete from his bag and held it ready to strike.

The rustling sound continued. Castiel’s mind raced. It could be anything. It could be the monster or even a deer. He pulled out his knife and readied to strike as well. The rustling grew louder. He swallowed hard when suddenly, a squirrel leaped out of the thicket. He stared at it. “Oh, it's… just a squirrel.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Stupid squirrel.” He put his bag back on his shoulders and started back down the trail.

Castiel watched the squirrel bounce away when he noticed something across the trail. He frowned at it. What was it? It looked like a rope. “Dean!” He shouted but he was too late. Dean walked into the rope. There was a loud snapping sound, followed by Dean’s screams as a trap sprang forth hauling him up into the trees by his leg upside down.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean screamed. His machete fell to the ground with a loud clang.

“Dean!” Castiel shouted. He ran to Dean. He checked around to make sure there weren’t anymore traps. It wouldn’t do them any good if both of them got trapped. He grabbed the machete and found the tree that the trap was tied to. “I’m going to cut you down.”

“Hurry up, Cas, all the blood is rushing to my head!” He screamed as he started to slowly spin around.

Castiel studied the rope. He didn’t want to cut it too quickly and risk Dean breaking his neck or something else on the way down. He reached for the rope when he heard Dean scream his name. It happened so fast Castiel didn’t have time to react. He turned with his weapon raised but before he could strike he was tossed into the trees. He hit his head on a tree with a loud thud. Pain emanated from the injury. He groaned as everything went black. He heard Dean screaming his name over and over as whatever hit him cut Dean down and hauled him away. “Dean,” he pleaded weakly as he lost the battle with consciousness.

**

“Hey, hey wake up.”

Castiel slowly opened his eyes. His head throbbed. He groaned as he was splashed in the face with water.

“Wake up come on it isn’t safe.”

His vision snapped into focus, standing there was Ranger Sarah. “Ranger?” He asked

“Oh, good, I thought I lost you.” She helped him to his feet. “That is one nasty bump you got there. Mind telling me what happened?”

His head still spun. “I was attacked… by a man, he uh,” He gasped. “He took Dean. There was a trap and Dean got caught. I have to get Dean.” He turned to run down the trail. The bag of weapons was still laying where Dean was. At least he wasn’t unarmed. He picked them up.

“Where the Hell do you think you’re going?” She asked

“To save Dean.”

She shook her head. “No, first of all, you have a head injury, and two it isn’t safe in these woods. You need to sit down and wait for me to come back.” She pointed at the tree where he was at. “I’ll give you my radio and you can call for help. By the time they come up here, everything will be done.”

He glared at her. “Dean is in trouble! I can’t just sit around and…” He then noticed her shotgun in her hand along with a big bag of gear on her back. “Since when does a ranger carry a gun?”

She looked at the gun in her hand then she looked back at him. “I got the feeling that you and your guy aren’t simple honeymooners.”

“I have the feeling you aren’t just a ranger.” He narrowed his eyes studying her. “You’re a hunter aren’t you?”

She sighed. “Yes, I’m a hunter.” She shrugged. “Been one for years. I took over for the Sherriff once he got too old to hunt. I help keep this town safe. What about you?”

“It is a long and complicated story. Perhaps for another time.”

She nodded. “So… he’s your partner or… is he really your husband?”

“Dean is…” he shook his head. “Dean is in trouble and that’s all that matters.”

She popped her lips. “Hmm, let’s go get your man then.”

They started walking down the path. Castiel’s mind was going a mile a minute. He was so scared for Dean. What would the monster do to him? He chewed on his low lip. He needed to find him. No, he had to find him. He needed to protect him.

**

Dean’s head buzzed as he slowly gained consciousness. He opened his eyes very slowly letting out a loud groan of pain. Everything hurt. He blinked as his vision came to focus. He was tied up. His arms above his head were tied at the wrists. He dangled just above the floor. He could smell a fireplace going and the dampness of wet Earth. He looked around him. He didn’t see anyone else. Just some blood. “Shit.” He murmured to himself. Wait, Cas. Where was Cas? His mind panicked he remembered seeing the man in the woods hit Cas then Cas hit a tree. He looked up at his ties and pulled on them. He had to get free he had to help Cas.

“Morning, pretty boy.” Came a drawled voice from the corner.

He turned and saw the man from the woods come to view. He had a knife in his hands as he eyed Dean like a piece of meat. Hell, he might have been a piece of meat to him.

“Morning fugly.” Dean spat

The man snickered. “You won’t be calling me many names once I get done with you.” He walked closer to Dean but stayed a good distance from him. “You are Dean Winchester.” He addressed him as he pointed at him with a knife.

“Guity.” Dean gave a half-assed attempt at a shrug. “And you are what? The big friendly mountain man?”

The man laughed. “My name ain’t so important, son, but if you must know.” He set the knife down on a table and picked up an apron. “They call me The Collector.”

“And what is that you collect, Collector?”

He smiled a sick smile as he tied his apron. “Oh, odds and ends. I get what I need from people then keep me some trophies.” He picked the knife back up and studied its weight in his hand. “See, I get folks… and sell them to whoever wants them.”

“Like… monsters?”

“Monsters?” he shrugged. “Some and humans with weird tastes.” He licked his lips. “You, my boy, are worth some money.” He waved the knife in Dean’s face. “See you blew up on the dark web when I posted your picture.” He laughed. “So popular, monsters want to eat you, some just want your body parts.” He leaned in and Dena could smell the alcohol on his breath and the stench of unbrushed teeth. “Some want you as a sex slave.” He traced a knife along Dean’s jaw.

Dean tried not to show fear. Deep down he was scared but he’d be damned he was going to show it. “Glad to know I’m so popular.” He joked

“I haven’t decided who I’m going to sell you to.” He grabbed his face hard making Dean grunt. “Hell, I might keep you for myself. You got pretty eyes, and pretty lips, boy.”

“Fuck off!” Dean jerked his head away from him.

“I might just do that.” He laughed

There was a loud bang. The door flew open. Dean’s heart pounded in his chest as Castiel walked in with the ranger. “Cas?” He asked

The Collector looked at Castiel frowning. “I thought I killed you.”

“Try harder next time,” Castiel said as he leveled his gun at him

The Collector yelled as he ran at them with his knife raised. A single shot went off and The Collector hit the floor with a thud.

“Nice shot,” Dean said.

“Thank you. I learned from the best.” Castiel said as he walked up to Dean. He reached to cut the ropes when the ranger screamed. Castiel turned in time to see The Collector throw the ranger against the wall. She hit with a loud thud her gun firing off as she hit it.

The Collector let out a loud growl. “You bastard!” He screamed at Castiel. He bared his teeth. “I am going to rip you limb from limb!” He charged at Castiel

Castiel dodged his charge but lost his gun in the process. He watched helplessly as it skitted across the room. He reached into his coat for his angle blade.

The angry man looked at him. He huffed. “You, you’re the pet angel aren’t you?” He sneered. “I heard you weren’t anything to worry about.” He laughed. “An angel! I can make so much off of you too.”

Castiel glared at him. He glanced over at Dean who was studying The Collector as he walked near him. “I am no angel. Not anymore.”

He shrugged. “Former angel. Whatever I can make some money off your ass too.” He stared at him so hard it made Castiel uncomfortable. He licked his lips and smiled an evil grin. “Yeah, your sweet little ass would make all kinds of money.” He raised his blade as he headed towards Castiel.

Dean swung forward and wrapped his legs around the man. “Cas, now!” He shouted as he The Collector swung his blade around wildly as he was knocked off balance.

Castiel leaped to his feet charging at the man. His blade snuck deep into his chest. The Collector let out a scream as blood pooled in his mouth. He slowly fell to the floor in a pool of blood. Castiel let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. “That, that should do it.”

Sarah groaned as she got back up. “Ugh, what happened?”

“I got him.” He kicked him and he didn’t move. “I got him.” He looked at Dean

“Good job, Cas,” Dean said with a lopsided grin. “Can you cut me down? I’m tired of hanging around.”

Castiel pulled out his blade and sliced through the ropes. Dean came down from the rafters and Castiel supported him. “Are you okay?” He felt something wet and warm in his hand. He pulled his hand away to see blood. “Dean?”

“I think… I’m not sure.” Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He had never been so happy to see Castiel in his life. He wanted to melt in his arms right then and there. “Cas,” he nuzzled against his chest

“You’re bleeding!” He shouted

“It’s nothing.” Dean huffed as he grew tired. “Stupid bastard must have hit me when I grabbed him with my legs… didn’t even feel it.”

Sarah rushed over to them. There was blood running down her face. She pulled out a walkie-talkie and called it in. “Here let me see.” She said

Dean glared at her. “It’s not that big a deal.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” She pulled Castiel’s hand away and looked at Dean’s wound

“It doesn’t hurt.”

She sighed. She looked at Castiel. “Keep pressure on it.” She handed him a bandana she had in her back pocket. “He should be fine. I’m going to look for a first aid kit.”

Castiel pressed the cloth to Dean’s stomach. Dean hissed in pain. With the added pressure he could feel the cut. He was hurt. “I am so sorry, Dean.” Castile whimpered

“Hey, hey,” Dean started. “None, of that crying mess, okay.” He placed his hand on Castiel’s face.

“This is my fault. If I was stronger, or paid attention.” He huffed. He stared at the cloth that was slowly growing redder. “If I was still an angel I could at least heal you. I’m so useless.”

“No,” Dean grabbed his face making him look at him. “You are not useless. I don’t want to hear that. You are useful. You got the guy. You, you did it. Not me, not the ranger, and not anyone else. It was you, Cas.”

Castiel let out a wet laugh. “I’ll be sure to tell Sam that when you bleed out.”

“I ain’t going to bleed out. We still got that date to have, remember?”

He smiled. “I know, Dean.” He held Dean closer to him

Dean smiled as he buried his face in Castiel’s shoulder. He was confident he would be fine. The ranger would find something to patch him up with and he would be fine. His vision started to grow black. “Cas,”

“Save your strength, Dean.”

“I got to tell you… I think I love you.” Dean’s eyes closed. He would take a little nap, yeah, that would be fine, he had Cas with him after all. The last thing he heard was Cas shouting. “Dean? Dean!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. I had this all written the whole thing and I just couldn't get myself to post it for some reason. The whole thing is done so I will probably completely update it throughout the week. Hope you all enjoy it.

Something to Give

Chapter 4

“Dean!” Castiel screamed. Panic rose through his body. What was he supposed to do? “Dean!”

Sarah came running in with a medkit in her hand. “What’s wrong?”

“He fell unconscious!” Castiel shouted. “What do I do?”

She opened the medkit. “Let me see.”

Castiel stared at Dean. Tears gathered in his eyes. Dean was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. “Dean.”

“Castiel!” She shouted. “If you want to save him you’re going to have to let me see him.”

He blinked and let go of Dean.

She moved the cloth away and looked at the wound. “It’s bad.” She stated. She pulled out a pair of scissors and cut open Dean’s shirt. “But I think he should live. He just lost a lot of blood.” She took out a needle and thread. She lit a lighter over the needle cleaning the germs off. “I’m going to patch him up so they can take him to the hospital.”

“They?”

“First responders. They are on their way.” She started to sew him up. Castiel wanted to vomit as he watched Dean’s flesh being stitched back together. “There I closed it but he’s going to need blood.” She wrapped a bandage around it and closed the kit. “Come on.”

Between the two of them, they supported Dean’s weight. It was difficult but they managed to get Dean out of the cabin.

“That way, we can get to an access road,” Sarah said

They walked with Dean until they reached a clearing. First responders arrived with a set of side-by-sides. The EMTs ran up to them to take Dean. They looked him over.

“Okay,” One of them started. “He’s lost some blood but he’s stable. We’ll transport him to the hospital.”

It happened so fast that Castiel barely registered what happened. In a flurry of motions, the side-by-sides were gone. He blinked his body tired and wanting to give up. He warned down, being human was not easy. If he was an angel he could have healed Dean and carried him out on his own without help.

“Come on,” Sarah said as she walked over to a remaining ATV. “We got to go.”

He climbed on behind her putting on the helmet she gave him. The ATV roared to life as they followed the access road out of the woods.

“Hunters used to use this road to get in and out of the woods.” She explained. “We had to shut it down because people were breaking into the old hunting cabins and starting fires. It’s only used for emergencies.” She huffed. “Damn county wouldn’t let me in here to search through.”

“Why not?”

“No clue,” She shouted over the roar of the engine. “Maybe someone in the county was working with that guy.” She speculated

“It would make a lot of sense. If someone higher up was working with him.”

She sighed. “Would explain a lot. I couldn’t get anyone to help with the search. Damn it.” She swore

“What is it?”

“I know who it is. It makes sense now.” She remained quiet for the rest of the ride out of the woods.

They stopped at the end of the road in time to see the EMTs load Dean into an ambulance.

Castiel ran up to the ambulance. “Is he okay?”

The EMT nodded. “Yeah, thanks to the ranger’s quick work he didn’t lose too much blood. But he still needs some and a doctor to check over him.”

He watched them hook Dean up to a machine. He believed it was a heart monitor.

“I don’t think he has any internal injuries. He got lucky.” The EMT patted his shoulder as he climbed into the back of the ambulance.

He glanced at the ranger. He wanted to go with Dean but he couldn’t leave her to finish the hunt it wasn’t fair to her.

“You go on,” Sarah said. “I’ve been hunting for years I can finish this job alone.”

“Are you sure?” He asked

She nodded. “Yeah, go be with your man.”

He nodded as he climbed into the back of the ambulance. He sat down on a bench across from Dean. He wondered what Dean would think about him leaving the ranger to deal with the hunt on her own. He took Dean’s hand as the ambulance pulled away. An EMT stayed back there with them monitoring Dean’s vitals on the equipment.

“He’s a strong man. He’s going to be okay.” The EMT said with a smile

Castiel returned the smile. He would feel better once Dean woke up again, then he would know that he was okay.

Dean groaned slowly opening one eye. “Cas?” He asked

“Dean! You’re okay!” He tried to contain his mirth. Dean was okay. Dean was going to make it. He squeezed his hand.

“Hey,” Dean smiled weakly. “I guess I made it then.” He chuckled softly. “Uh, I feel so groggy.”

“I gave you some morphine.” The EMT said

Dean looked in the EMT’s direction. “Oh, hey there… Am I… I guess I am in an ambulance.”

The EMT looked at Castiel. “He’s going to be a bit loopy because of the painkillers.”

“You’re loopy,” Dean grumbled. He rubbed Castiel’s hand. “Such a big hand.” He giggled. “And pretty blue eyes. Did you know you have such pretty eyes?”

He blushed. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean grinned ear to ear. He looked at the EMT. “Ain’t he pretty? Hey, EMT guy,” Dean waved his other hand. “I love this man, this is… Cas.”

Castiel tried not to laugh as the EMT smiled at him.

“You two are awesome.” The EMT said. The ambulance slowed down and he opened the back doors. “You got to let go of his hand so I can get you out.”

“Oh.” Dean took his hand away slowly.

The EMTs rolled Dean out of the back of the ambulance. Castiel walked with them into the emergency room. He gave the clerk all the information they needed. He walked with them to the room they placed Dean in. The doctor came in asking about how he got stabbed. Castiel told him it was a hunting accident and the doctor didn’t press it.

“Cas, you got to call Sammy!” Dean called out as the doctor was looking him over.

He nodded. He stepped out of the room pulling out his cell phone.

Sam picked up on the second ring. “Hello.”

“Sam, it is good to hear your voice,” Castiel said

“What’s up? Is the hunt done?”

“Yes, but,” He sighed. “I… Dean got stabbed. He’s fine though …” He sucked in a breath. “I was so scared, Sam.” He admitted. His voice trembled as he felt a tremendous weight off his shoulders. “I… when I was an angel I could heal people when someone got hurt but now… I didn’t know what to do. If Sarah wasn’t there he would have died.” He all but sobbed

“It’s okay, Cas,” Sam reassured him over the phone. “Breathe, take a moment, and breathe. Dean is fine you’re fine. It’s okay. I’ll teach you about first aid when you get back, okay?”

“Okay.” He sighed. Talking to Sam made him feel better. “I’d like that.”

“When Dean can, I’d like to talk to him. You take care of him, Cas, and I will talk to you later.”

“Okay, Sam, goodbye.” He hung up the phone.

The doctor walked out of the room at about the same time. “You’re the one that brought him in, correct?”

“Yes, he’s my uh, boyfriend.” He guessed Dean would be okay with him telling people that

“A hunting accident you say?”

He nodded. He hoped the doctor wasn’t about to ask him questions. He wasn’t all that good at lying as Dean had reminded him several times.

The doctor gave him a disapproving look. “Well, Dean is going to be fine. It was some sort of miracle the knife missed any major organs. I cleaned the wound and checked the stichs, I got an IV of antibiotics in just to be sure, and some fresh blood. I want to keep him overnight for observation but he should be able to go home in the morning.”

“I am glad to hear that.”

The doctor nodded then headed on into the next room. Castiel walked into Dean’s ER room. The sounds of the beeping machines were almost too much. Dean had a small TV attached to his bed that he was watching half-heartedly. “Dean,” Castiel started

He looked at him and smiled. “Hey, there, Cas, how are ya?”

“I am good long as you are good.” He sat in the chair beside his bed.

Dean cupped his face. “You look tired.”

He smiled. “I am sorry, Dean.” He took his hand and kissed it. “It has been a long day.”

“Yeah,” He snorted. “Yeah, it has.” He looked into his eyes. “I… I am glad you didn’t get hurt though.”

“I’d rather gotten hurt than you,”

“No!” He raised his voice. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, it… I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I called Sam. He wants to talk to you.”

“I’ll call him later.” He nuzzled into the pillow. “I’m so sleepy.”

He smiled. “Get you some rest, Dean.”

Dean opened one eye. “Maybe… maybe we can have a proper date when I’m out of the hospital.”

“I’d like that, Dean.” He kissed his forehead.

He mumbled something as his eyes closed.

Castiel watched Dean sleep occasionally glancing at the TV and watching whatever movie was on. Dean slept for several hours before Castiel fell asleep in the chair beside him.

**

“Cas, hey, Cas,”

He slowly opened his eyes. His neck hurt from the awkward position he slept in. “Huh?” He rubbed his eyes as he slowly recognized he was in the hospital. “Dean?” Oh yeah, he was in the hospital, Dean had been hurt during the hunt. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Cas, how are you? You looked uncomfortable so… yeah.”

“Yeah,” He nodded. He rubbed the back of his neck and stretched. “Is that why you woke me up?”

“Mostly, yeah, plus you were dreaming I think.” He smiled. “You called out my name… so uh, figured I should wake you up.”

He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t even remember what I was dreaming about.”

“It’s okay, Cas.” He yawned.

“How long have you been awake?” He asked as he stood up and stretched

“About an hour maybe.”

The doctor walked into the room about that time. “Morning, gentlemen,” He looked at Dean. “I’m going to check you out. If everything is clear then you’ll be free to go.”

“Okay, doc.”

The doctor looked at Castiel. “Do you mind?”

“Oh, ugh, sorry.” He stepped out of the room. He sent a text to Sam letting him know that the doctor was looking over Dean. He sighed. He needed coffee. He believed that would be the first thing he did when he got out of here. He realized Dean didn’t have a shirt though since they cut it off of him yesterday. He couldn’t very well leave with the hospital gown on.

The doctor walked out of the Dean’s room. “Alright, everything checks out. He won’t have to have the stitches removed but keep an eye on it. If it looks like an infection is setting in then please bring him back.”

“Okay, thank you, doctor.”

He smiled and nodded. “He’s a lucky man to have you.”

“Yes, he is.” He walked into the room. “Thanks again, doctor.”

The doctor nodded and walked on down the hallway continuing his rounds.

Dean was getting out of bed when Castiel walked in. He ran up to him bracing his side. Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “Cas, for God’s sake I can take care of myself.”

“No, I will not leave your side until you are fully healed.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Dude,” He licked his lips. “Fine if it makes you feel better.” He pulled on a shirt over his head that the hospital provided. “Let’s call a cab and get a ride back to the Impala.”

“Okay.” He pulled out his phone and called a cab driver. The cab came and collected them. They were silent during the ride back to the Impala. Castiel couldn’t believe he actually forgot about the car. Dean would be upset with him if he found out. It didn’t take as long as Castiel thought it would drive back to the park. The cab driver let them out and Castiel slipped him a few bills.

Dean ran up to the Impala well, as fast as he could run that is. He grumbled in pain as he reached the door of the car. “Ah, Baby, I’m so sorry about that.” He patted the car affectionately. He looked at Castiel and smiled softly. “I think you should drive.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You want me to drive?” Dean had taught him how to drive for the most part early in his time on Earth. Castiel hadn’t been interested but Dean had argued that at some point he may need to know how to drive. It was sad that he was correct.

“Yeah, I… I’m still feeling a bit off.” He shrugged

He swallowed, he was worried about Dean. “Are you sure you are okay?”

“I’m fine. I just want to make sure the pain meds are out of my system.” He tossed Castiel the keys. “Don’t wreck us.” He said as he walked to the passenger side.

Castiel walked to the driver’s side. He unlocked the car and reached across the bench seat to let Dean in. He stuck the keys in the ignition and turned them. The car roared to life. Castiel’s heartrate accelerated when he felt the car rumble beneath him. He looked over at Dean his mouth dry. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Cas!” Dean huffed. “I wouldn’t have given you the keys if I wasn’t sure about it. Pop in gear and let’s go.”

He sucked in a breathe and put the car in reverse. He backed up the car far slower than Dean ever would have. His breathing evened out and his nervousness slowly melted away as he got the car on the highway. He could do this. Of course, all the driving he had done was in the driveway at Bobby’s a few years ago… no, he had this. He knew he did.

The drive was a lot smoother than he anticipated. He expected Dean to be a wreck but Dean was relaxing in the seat with his eyes half-closed. Perhaps he didn’t get as much sleep as he let on. He pulled the car into a drive-through being very careful not to hit anything.

Dean’s eyes opened up as he slowed down. He even reminded him not to hit the car on anything.

Castiel rolled his eyes as he ordered them food. He went to the went paying with the card that Dean gave to him. He took the coffee and smiled to himself. Hard to believe as a human he couldn’t live without this stuff. He handed Dean the bag of food who mumbled something about eating in the car. “No, I think we can make it back to the cabin,” Castiel said to Dean. He did sip on his coffee as he drove.

“Hey, hey, don’t do that. That’s for expert drivers only.” Dean fussed as he took the coffee from Castiel as he tried to put it in the cupholder. “You can wait.”

He rolled his eyes again. He focused on the drive back to the cabin. He wagered that Dean was correct that drinking coffee and driving was a distraction. He didn’t want to damage the car that meant so much to Dean.

They made it back to the cabin. The food and coffee were still warm thanks to the short trip. They headed into the cabin. Castiel noted how Sarah’s SUV wasn’t in front of her house. He chewed his lips hoping she was okay.

Inside the cabin, Dean ripped into the food with gusto. “I’m starving. I hated that hospital food.”

He smiled. “Well, the cafeteria food wasn’t much better,” Castiel remarked as he chewed on his sausage biscuit. “This is divine.”

He laughed. “You know what I like about you? You are easily impressed.”

He sighed. “Given how as an angel I didn’t possess a sense of taste everything is… amazing. I have no frame of reference other than what I did eat.”

Dean nodded. “Being an angel seems like it sucked.” He observed as he wiped his mouth. “Anna she uh, she didn’t like it either.”

“While at first, I was… a lot like them, being with you Dean… I learned. I learned what it meant to be… free.” He sat down his food. “I… at first I thought being human would be… terrible but… I have found I enjoy it.”

He smirked. “You enjoy it, huh?”

He smiled. “And I enjoy being with you…”

“Cas,” He rolled up the wrapper the food came in. “I… I meant what I said when I was… you know bleeding out. I do… I do love you.” He looked away in shame. “I had thought I was losing it. When you had left after we stopped the apocalypse I felt like I lost something. I told myself it was because of Sam being gone but I just felt this big hole in my heart… a Castiel-shaped hole.”

He smiled. Dean missed him even though he was with Lisa. It sent a strange tingle down his spine. He… he had to admit he felt the same way. He remembered watching Dean from afar a few times. His heart slowly breaking as he saw him with Lisa. He didn’t understand what it meant that the time. His feelings for Dean were complex and complicated. As an angel, he didn’t understand them at all. Teasing from others didn’t help. But he knew even early on in their relationship that his feelings for Dean were far more different than his feelings towards Sam. At first, he had assumed it was because he saved Dean from Hell but then he soon realized that it wasn’t just that.

“Then in Purgatory, I just… losing you destroyed me in a way no one else had. Yeah, I mourned for my loss with Lisa but with you… it was different. It hurt like a bitch when I thought I would never see you again.” He reached out and cradled Castiel’s face.

Castiel let out a small gasp. He didn’t mean to it just happened. He stared into Dean’s beautiful green eyes. He wished Dean would see himself as Castiel saw him. The caring self-less man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“I… I’m a fuck up. I know that it… I’ve always been afraid to let myself, love,”

He took his hand and held it. “Dean, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“I know, but there’s always that thought in the back of my head, you know like we can be out on a case and you could get killed.”

“I’m human now, Dean, I could die from eating dinner.”

He let out a humorless chuckle. “True, true, but I don’t want to go through what Dad and Sam did, seeing the love of my life ripped away from me.”

He blinked. “I’m the love of your life?”

He smiled softly. “Yes, Cas, I don’t think I want to keep going without you by my side.”

He felt tears well up in his eyes. “Dean,” He choked back a sob. “I’m sorry, I uh,”

He rubbed the tears from his eyes. “I know, it’s new for you. Is it overwhelming?”

He nodded. “It is, everything seems to be overwhelming now.”

“We can take it slow.” He kissed his forehead. “If you want to.”

“Not like we have much of a choice since you are injured.” He smiled

“True.” He yawned. “I’m really tired.”

“Let’s get you on the couch so you can rest. We can worry about heading home tomorrow.”

Castiel helped Dean off the chair and to the couch in the living room. He sat down with him and Dean rested his head on his thigh and fell asleep while Castiel channel surfed. Dean woke up a few times and got up to stretch. He kept to himself and was oddly quiet. Castiel wasn’t sure what to make of it but he didn’t push him. Dean would talk when Dean was ready. Castiel got up to prepare them lunch. He looked outside the window to see if Sarah was home or not. She wasn’t. A pit formed in his stomach. “Dean,”

“Yeah?” He called from the couch

“The ranger… she isn’t home yet.”

Dean got up from the couch and walked over to Castiel and looked out the window. He hmphed. “Maybe, she’s busy with something. She seemed like a busy woman.” He shrugged

“No, Dean, this feels different. Something… something inside of me says something is wrong.”

“That’s instinct.” He kissed his cheek. “So, what are you thinking?”

“She, she said,” He paused. It hit him the ranger was complaining about the county not letting her use the access road. “I, you was unconscious at the time but she called in for help. The EMTs came up an access road and she mentioned the county wouldn’t let her use the road and she was… going to investigate it.”

“The sheriff,” Dean said his eyes growing wide with revelation. “I knew he was acting funny! Son of a bitch!” He snatched up his keys and his coat. “Let’s go.”

“Dean, you’re in no shape to hunt,”

But Dean cut him off. “Bull shit! I’m not going to lay here and rest while that bastard is out there.” He opened the door. “We are going.”

He gave up his protest following Dean to the car. Dean handed him the keys again and let him drive. Castiel considered arguing that he didn’t need Dean but it was foolish to go into an unknown situation alone. He put the car in gear while Dean made phone calls.

“Hello, I was wondering if the sheriff was in, I needed to speak with him about the case.” There was a pause. “He’s not in? Where does he live I really need to give him something important.” He hmmed. “Okay, got it, thanks.” He hung up the phone. “Sheriff called in, guess where his home is?”

“Near the trail?”

“Yup, up the road from it.” He huffed. “It’d been easy for him. He could prevent rescuers from going up there, lead tourists that way, have a whole set up.”

“What if he’s a monster? We wouldn’t be able to tell.”

“Or he was getting paid off by The Collector. It seemed like it had to be a multiple man operation. You know, the sheriff could help him hid the bodies get family off the trail…”

He sighed. “If only I had seen this sooner, she would have,”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, okay. We all make mistakes. Me and Sammy, all the time we think we are done then something else comes up.”

“No, she told me she was going to deal with it. She insisted I go with you to the hospital because I was so worried.” He clutched the steering wheel. He could see why angels viewed emotions as a weakness. Because he was so worried about Dean the ranger put herself in harm's way. She could very well be dead and it would be his fault.

“Don’t,” Dean said snapping him out of his thoughts.

He looked at him. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t do that to yourself. I know what you are doing, it isn’t your fault. We will save her, okay?”

“Okay.” He said softly

The rest of the drive they were quiet. The sheriff’s home was off the beaten path. Castiel hid the car in a clearing so no one could see it from the house. They loaded up on weapons.

“Okay,” Dean started. “We stick together. Look for lights on in the home and signs of where he is keeping her.”

“Okay.”

They walked up to the house. It had a large wrap around porch, it was an older farm home and was clearly in need of repair. They walked around the side of the house. There were no lights on in the front of the home. They walked around the back where Castiel found a cellar.

“Dean,”

Dean looked at it. He leaned towards the door and listened. He looked at him and nodded. Using the butt of his gun he smashed the lock open. He let out a small hiss of pain.

Castiel rested his hand on him in reassurance. He opened the cellar door. He went down the stairs first. Inside there were multiple cages with people inside of them. In the middle was ranger Sarah tied to a pole.

She opened her eyes and smiled. “What took you?” She teased as Dean cut her loss

“Well, I was sort of in the hospital,” Dean said

She laughed. “I never suspected the sheriff.” She admitted her voice laced with regret.

“Where is he?” Castiel asked as he opened the cages for the victims.

“Upstairs.” She hissed. “He’s setting up an auction for us,”

Her words were cut off by a loud thud of the cellar door closing. “Son of a bitch!” Dean shouted. He ran up to the door and tried to open it. “Open it!” He screamed at who he assumed was the sheriff

“Not a chance in hell,” Mike responded. “I’ve been waiting for a chance like this. See boy, I thought your face looked familiar. You’re that Dean Winchester aren’t ya?”

“What can I say? You caught me.” Dean stated flatly

“And that dark-haired man with you, he’s the angel Castiel.”

“How did you know?” Castiel asked as he helped up a young woman from the cage

The sheriff laughed. “Well, you see I got an order from the angels to be on the lookout for you.”

“You’re working for the angels?” Dean asked

“I work for whoever pays me. I ain’t picky. They heard about me from somewhere and asked me to gather people to be vessels. Whomever they can’t use I sell to vamps, or werewolves, or whatever wants a meal.”

“Bribery,” Dean spat. “You are blackmailing these people. Be a vessel or be monster chow.”

“Bastard!” Sarah shouted

“I thought you were a hunter!” Dean shouted. His jaw tight with agitation

Castiel could understand. He was angry as well. What sort of human would turn against his own kind like this, not to mention one that used to hunt monsters.

“Hunting doesn’t pay diddly, boy, I ain’t got a retirement plan, I was living off food stamps! Until one day I met this vamp, he said he’d pay me a thousand dollars if I’d turn my head the other way. That’s how this operation got started. I normally, don’t shop at home. My boy, you know, the one you killed. He was on my payroll. He’d settle somewhere and catch humans and I’d sell them. Easy. Then the dumb bastard kept almost getting caught so I set him up in my backyard.”

Dean scoffed. “So that’s it then? You stick him in a little hunting cabin then you cover up his tracks?”

“Yup, no one was none the wiser until you two showed up.” He chuckled. “But you won’t be a problem for much longer. I hand you, boys, over and that’s it for you.” He laughed. “I just got to figure out how to spend the money I get from selling you, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean slammed the door again. “You won’t be so fucking cocky when I bust out of here!”

“Big talk for a man locked in a cellar.”

“Big talk for a fat old sheriff!”

There was a thud on the outside. “I’ll see you have a painful death boy. Maybe I’ll get the angels to let you watch them tear about your boyfriend.” He laughed

Castiel listened to the sheriff walk away. Dean screamed in anger as he hit the door over and over. “Dean, Dean, stop it!” he grabbed him restraining him. “You are going to open your stitches.

Dean pushed him away. “I’m going to kill him! No one threatens you and gets away with it!”

“Dean,” He sighed. He was worried about the angels. He didn’t think any of them would resort to tactics like this but, he was warded against them. He chewed his lips. He was a danger for Dean and Sam. With them, he was exposing them to heaven’s wrath.

“I won’t let them hurt you,” Dean said as he slung his arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “I will protect you I swear.”

He looked at him. “Dean,” He said softly. “Thank you.”

He kissed his forehead. He looked up at the other people captured. “We are getting you all out of here.”

“How?” Asked one of them. He was a scared young man. His fists were clenched and he was looking around with panic in his eyes.

“I don’t know how, but I will,” Dean said. He looked at the door and hit it.

“If I still had my grace I could knock it down.”

“Maybe if a few of us hit we can knock it down.” Dean looked around

A man stepped forward. “I’ll help.”

The new man, Dean, and Castiel all hit the door with their shoulders but it would not budge.

“The hell,” Dean said. “He must have weighed it down with something.” He rubbed his shoulder

Castiel was worried about Dean’s stitches but he kept it to himself. He didn’t want to upset Dean even more than he already was. He looked around the group of people the hikers were huddled together nervously as Sara looked over them for injuries. “Dean, what do we do? We can’t get all these civilians involved.”

Dean grunted. “Maybe they are what we need.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t like the idea but with numbers comes strength.”

“Dean, we only have a few angel blades between us. We can’t begin to hope to fight off a group of angels. Fallen or not, my brethren are strong. They can easily overpower us especially if they are a fighting garrison.”

“So what? You just want to sit here and wait for death!” He shouted

“No,” He shook his head. “I…” He hesitated as Dean glared at him. He didn’t have a plan. Not a good one anyway. They were fish in a barrel in this situation. He sucked in a breathe. He knew what to do or what had to be done. “I have an idea,” He looked into Dean’s eyes. “But you aren’t going to like it.”

“What is it?”

“I offer myself,”

“No!” Dean growled. “No sacrifices, Cas.”

“Let me finish. I offer myself to them in exchange for you and these people’s freedom.”

“Bullshit! Whoever is coming to get us I bet they ain’t willing to deal.” He stormed over to Castiel. He grabbed onto his shoulders. “Cas, you can’t do this to me. There has to be a better way. I know you think it’s best but it’s not.”

“You’d sacrifice yourself to save these people what makes me different?”

“Because I love you!” Dean shouted. Tears gathered in his eyes. He choked them back. “I can’t,” He sniffed. “I can’t standby and let you throw your life away.” He shook his head. “No, we are going to fight back.”

The door opened behind them. Castiel watched the door. He could push Dean away and offer himself up. Dean was correct, him dying didn’t guarantee that they would all be safe but he had to do something. He had to try something anything. He stepped forward

“No!” Dean held onto him. “No! I won’t let you!”

He opened his mouth to argue when he saw someone descending the stairs. Castiel couldn’t recognize his brethren in their vessels so he had no idea who it was.

“Castiel,” The man in front of him smiled warmly. “It is good to see you again.”

Dean pushed Castiel behind him making himself a barrier between the angel who just arrived and Castiel. “I ain’t going to let you hurt him!”

“You aren’t going to let me?” The angel asked coldly as he removed his gloves. “Dear human, I don’t require your permission.”

Dean growled shoving Castiel to the ground as he leaped at the angel. The angel dodged and tossed Dean into the wall.

“Dean!” Castiel shouted

The angel glanced over at Dean. “I assume that is the great Dean Winchester?” He chuckled. “You have poor taste in men, Castiel.” He sighed. “I don’t think you and I have ever met in person. I am Isaiah.”

“Look,” Castiel began. “I’ll do whatever you want as long as you let everyone else go.”

Isiah laughed. “You’ll do what I want? Boy, I plan on dragging your ass back to the others and skinning you alive!”

“Is this how angels are?” Sarah asked. “I thought they were merciful and kind.”

The angel glanced at her. “No, plus I hate humans. Being on this dirtball with no wings has ben pure Hell.” He marched up to Castiel and grabbed him by the throat. “And it is your fault we are like this! If you hadn’t been so stupid!”

Castiel struggled. His mind was racing he wanted to save himself and everyone there. He tried to escape from Isaiah but he couldn’t outmatch the angel’s strength. He let out a whimper when suddenly Isaiah screamed as his eyes lit up. Castiel fell to the floor with a thud.

Standing over the fallen angel was Dean. He was panting as he glared at the body. “Jackass,” he hissed. He looked at Castiel with an extended hand. “Are you okay?”

He took his hand as he helped him back up. “I am now.”

“Good,” Dean nodded. He pulled Castiel in tightly and held him. “Stupid, don’t do that again.”

“I won’t, Dean.”

“Come on.” He said to Sarah as he pulled away from Castiel. “Let’s get the Hell out of Dodge.”

The group ran up the stairs as fast as they could. Castiel knew they were far from safe. They still had the sheriff to deal with plus all the civilians they rescued. He stopped cold in his tracks when he heard a gun cock. “Dean,” He started

The sheriff stood there before them shotgun in hand. “You sons of bitches!” He shouted. “I was expecting to make good money off that sale.” He pointed the gun at Dean. “I ought to kill you.”

Dean acted quickly. He slapped the gun out of the sheriff’s hand, it fired sending the bullet into the side of the home.

Castiel leaped to Dean’s aid and helped him take the sheriff down quickly. He grabbed the sheriff pinning him to the ground.

The sheriff screamed and kicked as Sarah found his handcuffs and cuffed him. “You can’t arrest me! You’re a ranger I’m the sheriff!”

She huffed. “Yeah, Mike? Seems like you got all kinds of evidence against you.”

“Personally,” Dean started as he lifted the sheriff’s head. “I’d gank your ass on principle but you know what, you going to jail will be just as satisfying.”

“Fuck you!” The sheriff spat

Sarah pulled his phone off his belt. “I’m going to call it in.” She said as Dean held the sheriff down. “Hello, yes this is ranger Sarah, I found the missing persons… yes, I am at Sheriff Mike’s place. No, he was the kidnapper.”

The sheriff groaned and let out a pathetic cry. “I’d gotten away with it. I could have retired somewhere nice but no, you guys had to come bust up my operation.”

Castiel huffed. “You’re operation would have been busted one way or another. Those angels, they wouldn’t have given you any money. They would have killed you for your troubles.”

He looked at him and frowned. “They promised,”

“They lied.” He shook his head. “Angels don’t make deals with humans. Especially ones like Isaiah and if he wasn’t the one who’d killed you then a vampire or a demon would have.” He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t make deals with monsters.”

He glared at him. “What about you then? You’re not human and you are certainly cozy with this Winchester.”

He sighed. “I am human. I have been more human than an angel for a long time.” He looked at Dean who nodded. “And it’s thanks to Dean.”

“Come on!” Sarah announced. “Officers are on their way. You two get out of here. The less the cops know the better.”

“Thanks,” Dean said as he stood up.

A hiker walked over. “I’ll hold him down.” He pressed his boot to the back of the sheriff’s neck. “I look forward to this. Maybe we should lock him in a cage for a while.”

“He’ll be in a cage soon enough,” Sarah said. She smiled at the two hunters. “Thank you, both of you.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Dean said. “But uh, if you ever need help with something you can contact us.”

“Same,” She winked. “You two boys have fun.”

“Come on, Cas, let’s go.” Dean took his arm and lead him to the Impala

Castiel got in the driver’s side as Dean slid in beside him. He started the car and watched as Sarah and the others shrank in the rearview mirror. “Are you okay?”

“I guess so.” Dean shrugged. “Nothing hurts.” He lightly touched his stomach and hissed. “Okay that still hurts but there isn’t much I can do about that.” He sighed. “Cas, I… I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine.” He huffed. “I… you deserve better.”

“What do you mean?” He glanced at him with his eyebrow cocked.

“I… I treat you terribly. I know I do and…” he sighed. “I get so angry. I don’t… I don’t know how to process my emotions. I know that’s a shity excuse but there we go. I don’t know what to say when I’m upset so instead I lash out and yell and scream.” He laid his hand on his leg. “I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself. Ever, you mean too much to me. I didn’t know how to convey that without being angry. I’m not mad at you. I was mad because you were willing to die to save everyone.”

“I’ve done it before.” He said softly

“Yeah, and it sucked each and every time. You’re special to me, Cas, anytime I have lost you it hurt and it hurts a bit worse when I hear you are willing to toss it all away.”

“I… I thought I was doing what was best.” He confessed. “I didn’t want to die, Dean, I wanted to keep you safe.”

“Cas, you know it wouldn’t have worked. The bad dudes would have killed me too.” He rubbed Castiel’s leg. “Listen, we got a long road ahead of us to work this all out, okay.”

“Okay, Dean, what… do you want to go home?”

“Nah, let’s spend the night here then go home.”

“Sounds good.”

The rest of the drive was silent and Dean’s hand never left Castiel’s leg. They arrived back at the cabin just as the sun was setting. Dean yawned as he got out of the car. Castiel wrapped his arm around his shoulder and led him back inside the cabin.

He placed Dean on the couch and gave him the pain pills the doctor had prescribed. Dean took some although he was reluctant to do it. Castiel busied himself in the kitchen preparing them dinner. There was still some food left over from their trip. He assumed they could pack the cooler with ice and bring it with them.

“Hey,” Dean started snapping him out of his thoughts. “What if…” He licked his lips. “What if we stayed here a few more days?”

He turned to look at him with one eyebrow raised. “Would that be a wise decision?”

He shrugged. “I doubt anyone is going to report us about killing that guy plus the ranger does live next door I’m sure if someone came sniffing around she could distract them.”

He gathered plates out of the cabinet. “I assumed you would be in a rush to return home and find another hunt.”

“No, I… remember I told you I would take you on a date?” He smiled his cheeks turning a bit red

“Hmm? Are you proposing to stay here as our date?” He asked as he sat down the plates. A smile spread across his face

“Well, wouldn’t you rather be here than back home with Sammy?” He blushed again. Castiel could feel his own face heating up. “I mean, we could have some privacy.”

“I would… I would like that a lot, Dean.” He smiled. He would like that a lot. More time alone with Dean sounded wonderful. He could keep him all to himself and not have to worry about another hunt or Sam walking in on them.

“I’ll let Sam know.”

Castiel got the food on the plates. His hands shaking a little bit as he did it. He was excited. He got to spend more time with Dean. He could… he could actually have Dean all to himself. He swallowed hard. He would be alone with Dean. He glanced at Dean who was on the phone. He could have him. “Wow.” He said softly to himself. The realization hit hard. This was his chance his moment. He was finally going to be with Dean. He felt dizzy for a moment as the blood rushed through his body. He sucked in a breath. Even if he was alone with him that didn’t mean they were going to have sexual relations. For all he knew, Dean wasn’t ready for that. If not that was fine as well, he relished at the chance to spend time with him like a couple. He wondered if Dean had actually ever been on a date before. Dean’s life didn’t exactly lead to an opportunity to stick down roots and get to know people. From what Castiel had observed Dean was as the humans put it, a ‘love them and leave them’ type of person.

“We will be careful, bye, Sam,” Dean said as he walked into the kitchen. “What’s with you? You look like you seen a ghost.” He chuckled

“Oh, uh, nothing. I was… thinking.” He nodded to the food. “Dinner is ready.”

“I see that.” He sat down. “Penny for your thoughts?”

He tilted his head. “Why would you pay for my thoughts?”

“It’s an expression.” He sighed. “What’s on your mind, Cas?”

“I…” he poked his food with the fork. “When you say date… do you mean an actual date or are you planning on… you know… with me?” he blushed. He couldn’t believe how awkward this was. It wasn’t that long ago he was cramming his tongue down Dean’s throat and now he can’t even say what’s on his mind.

Dean frowned at him. “I told you, Cas, I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you.”

“I just… I realized your relationships have all been sex and that was it.”

“Yeah, they have but you are different.”

He blinked. “I am different?”

“Yeah, I realized this, you are different. As much as I want a roll in the hay with you I also want to take you to dinner, watch the sunset, and all that romantic shit.” He smiled. “You said you want it to be special and I want it to be special for you.” He ate a big bite of his food. He swallowed then said. “You are setting the pace here. If you just want to fuck I’m down but if you want to go out and have fun I’m down.”

“I… I want to have fun. Not that I don’t want to… have sex with you I want…”

“To be special?”

He nodded. “I don’t want it to be the first thing we do. I know I was… all over you before but I was…”

“Horny, the word you are looking for is horny.” He drank his beer. “Look, you haven’t been human for that long, the human body has needs. Sometimes you need to get your rocks off.” He shrugged. “I’m not going to judge you for it.” He smirked. “I mean, I’d be all over me too if I was you.”

“Dean,” he rolled his eyes. “Sometimes you are an idiot.”

“But you still love me though.” He winked

“I do.” He blushed again. He did love, Dean. He’d do anything for Dean (and to Dean). “I… I can’t wait until our date.”

“Yeah, we got to figure out what to do.” He finished his food and slid the plate away. “The hot tube is out because of my stitches, and I’d rather not hike not after all this mess.”

“I’m sure we can find something fun.”

Dean yawned. “Those pain pills are kicking in. I’m so sleepy.”

“Lay down for a bit, I’ll clean up.”

“It’s not fair to you.”

“It’ll be fine.” He helped Dean to the couch. Afterward, he started washing the dishes. He listened to the silence in the room filled with Dean’s soft snores and occasional sniff. He dried the dishes then put them away.

Castiel walked over to the couch as Dean slept. He smiled. He got a blanket and laid it on top of him. “Good night, Dean.” He kissed his forehead. As he walked away, he thought he heard Dean mumble his name.

He walked into the bedroom. He got out the laptop and began to search for something to do for their date. He smiled as he came up with all sorts of things for them to do. Yes, this would be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At best I can say about this chapter is it was purely self-indulgent. Lol. Lot's of fluff and a bit of smut in this one. Enjoy

Something to Give

Chapter 5

Castiel woke up the next day alone in bed. He had forgotten about Dean falling asleep on the couch. He yawned. The laptop was still out on the bed, he had fallen asleep looking for date ideas. He put the laptop away. He listened for any sound of Dean and only heard light snoring. Castiel decided to take a shower. He collected his clothes and headed in. He turned on the water waiting for it to warm up. He stripped and climbed into the shower. He took his time getting clean. He dried off and got dressed.

He walked into the living room. Dean was sitting up on the couch still looking half asleep. “Morning.” He mumbled as he rubbed his eyes

“Morning.” He kissed him on the cheek as he walked by. “How did you sleep?”

“Lousy. I’m too damn old to be sleeping on a couch.” He groaned as he stood up. Castiel heard his bones pop as he stretched. “I need coffee.”

“I’ll make some. You just get yourself cleaned up.”

He nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

Castiel started coffee. He poured himself a cup then started breakfast. Shortly thereafter, Dean wandered back into the kitchen. He sat at the table with a yawn. Castiel passed him a cup of coffee.

“Sorry I fell asleep on you like that.”

“It’s fine. I did some research about our date.”

He smiled. “What did you learn?”

“There are several restaurants around here that are highly rated. There is a mini-golf course. I have never played mini-golf so…”

“You want to play mini-golf?”

“Yes, is that a problem?”

“No, it just seems strange that a former angel, a freaking leader of armies wants to play mini-golf.” He chuckled

“It looked fun.” He frowned. “Don’t make fun of me, I worked hard to make my choices.”

He laughed. “Sorry, Cas.”

“There is also a giant book store I am interested in and… an apothecary.”

“Would that be open in the fall?”

“I think it is. We can at least get some honey.”

He smiled. “Sounds like you got it all planned out.” He finished his coffee

“Yes,” he smiled. “It will be fun.”

“If you say so, Cas.”

He finished breakfast and handed him a plate. “I do say so.”

They ate finalizing the rest of their plans. Castiel was excited to have this date. He couldn’t wait. He was eager to try new things. He never got to have fun as an angel. Everything was always about the mission. He had learned to enjoy TV thanks to Dean then later books thanks to Sam. But he wanted to experience more. Even before he lost his grace, he wanted to experience different things. So this learning opportunity was great for him.

They decided to leave around the afternoon. They were going to play mini-golf first, then have lunch, then see the bees, then go to the book store, then finally have dinner. With the plans set they loaded into the car and headed out. Dean was feeling a lot better now so he was driving. He left the pain pills at home stating he would rather be in pain than be sleepy and miss their first date. Castiel could tell he was as excited as he was.

“You know, I’ve never actually played mini-golf,” Dean confessed

“Really?”

“Yeah, see things like this… dad never did with us. Bobby you know, he’d take us fishing but things like that not so much.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry, Dean, no one should have had a childhood like yours.”

He shrugged. “Shit’s in the past now. I got time to make up for it.” He licked his lips. “I dream about retirement often.”

“What does that look like to you?”

“Toes in the sand, at some beach, you, me, and Sam with drinks with umbrellas in it.” He smiled. “I want to travel.”

“Don’t you travel enough?”

“No, I mean not travel for a job. I actually want to see shit. Sometimes, dad would stop at some cool thing and let us see it but as we got older the more he was concerned with the mission.” He gripped the steering wheel. “The less we did as a family… that wasn’t hunting.” He scoffed.

“Do you… resent your father?”

There was a pause. Castiel feared he had pushed the boundaries too far. “I… yes, I do.” He shook his head. “When I met Adam that’s when… that’s when I felt it. We stopped doing stuff when I was ten. Dad only focused on me learning how to hunt. That was all, if I wasn’t killing something he didn’t care. I… dude, it fucked me up.”

“It was too much for a child to bear.” He laid his hand on his leg. “Dean, I may not have had a childhood but I understand why it is important to have one.”

“It’s…” he glanced over at him tears in his eyes. “I’ve never talked about it with anyone before, but God, it freaking hurts. All my days were spent learning to kill, drilled into my head to protect Sam. The only time I got to have fun is when dad would drop us off at Bobby’s or Pastor Jim. They… they let me be a kid. They would take us to games, play catch,” He smiled. “They would let me play video games and have fun.” He chuckled humorlessly “I’m a grown man who has never played mini-golf.”

“Well, we are about to change that.”

“Damn straight.” He smiled the hurt in his eyes still lingered. Castiel wanted to take that pain away. He wanted to help Dean. He couldn’t fix his past (not anymore at least) but he could fix his future. He could shower Dean in the love he deserved. He could make sure Dean took time to take care of himself. Dean deserved it. Dean deserved all the love in the world.

Castiel licked his lips the rare openness of Dean at the moment made him… curious. He had talked to Dean gotten to know him over the years but he enjoyed it when Dean would open up to him. “May I ask a question?”

“You just did,” Dean smirked. He laughed when Castiel huffed at him. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it, yeah you can ask me anything.”

“Why did you keep your sexuality a secret?”

He sighed. “Not all humans are all that accepting of non-heterosexual relationships.”

“How long… did you know that you were…”

He smiled. “The word you are looking for is bi. I am bi, Cas.” He chuckled. “And it feels good to admit it out loud. I’ve known for a while… I think maybe since I was a teen. I remember watching Star Wars and liking both Han and Leia and that’s when I put two and two together.”

“Did you ever date another man before?”

“No, not exactly, like I said I never dated anyone before. I just uh, all my encounters with women was my charms… and sex and that was it. I only went out with two girls which were Lisa and Cassie when I was in my early twenties. I’ve uh,” he licked his lips. “I’ve only been with a dude once. I was… I was scared of being caught by dad so I put on the big macho mask and only hit on women. It was after he gave me Baby that I decided to try my hand at guys…”

“What happened?”

“I enjoyed myself but had crushing guilt for days after that dad would disown me if he ever found out. It’s not going to be a problem now, just so you know.”

“Good, I don’t want to cause any unnecessary stress.”

He shook his head. “Nah, I came to terms with my sexuality in my head… on the outside that’s different.”

Castiel frowned. Did this mean Dean would avoid treating him like a boyfriend in public? Would he be afraid to hold hands or place soft kisses on him? “Dean, I, are you…” He didn’t want to sound insecure or needy. He didn’t want to frighten Dean away.

He took his hand. “Don’t worry, you are going to get the love you so rightly deserve.”

He smiled. “You too, Dean.” He kissed his hand. “You deserve all the love in the world.”

Castiel watched Dean blush as he eased the car into the parking lot of the mini-golf course. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, here we are.”

He got out of the car quickly. He heard Dean laugh at him stating he was like a kid in a candy store. He was excited this was a new experience. He headed inside with Dean behind him.

The clerk looked up at them from her phone. “Afternoon, gentlemen,” She said as she set down her phone. “Looking to play a round?”

“Yeah, yeah we are,” Dean said as he pulled out his wallet

“Okay, that will be twelve dollars even.” She took the card and ran it.

Castiel stared at the various colored balls in the basket on the counter. They were all so bright reminding him of rainbows. He picked up a green one and smiled at it. It reminded him of Dean’s eyes.

“You pick whichever ball you want.” The young woman said. “Clubs are over there the tallest ones are up top.”

Dean walked behind Castiel sliding his arms around his waist. “See one you like?”

“Yes, this one,” he showed him the green ball. “Makes me think of you. It’s the same color green as your eyes.”

“Hmm,” He picked up a blue one. “I’ll go with this one, though it isn’t nearly as pretty as your eyes.”

He blushed and the girl behind the counter giggled. “You two are cute.” She said. “Don’t forget your scorecard and pencil.”

“Oh, yeah,” Dean picked up the small card and even smaller pencil.

They walked outside of the office to a back deck that led to the golf course. “Dude,” Dean started. “We got to come up with some names.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Come up with names? But we have names, why would we make up a name for the game.”

He sighed. “That’s like half the fun, you know, making up stupid names for the game.”

“I thought you said you never mini golfed before?”

“I haven’t, but I did go bowling and it’s the same idea.” He winked. He opened the scorecard and wrote in pie. “Okay, you’re going to be pie, because I love some pie.”

He shook his head. “Dean, you are being ridiculous.”

“Come on, Cas.” He groaned. “Live a little, give me a nickname.”

“Bumblebee.” It was the first thing that came to his mind. Dean stared at him with a confused look. “Because I like bumblebees.”

“Oh, I thought maybe you meant the Transformer.” He said as he wrote in the name

“What does an electrical box have to do with bees?”

“It,” he sighed a longsuffering sigh. “God, Cas, when we get home,” He pointed at him. “We are watching Transformers.”

He tilted his head. “What is that?”

“You’ll find out, now let’s golf.”

They walked down to the first hole. Castiel decided to go first. He swung hard missing the ball and almost sending the club sailing through the air. Dean almost fell to the ground with laughter. He swung again and missed all the while Dean laughed. “If you think you can do better then let me see.” Castiel huffed. He picked up his ball and walked off

Dean put his ball down, he lined his club up swaying his butt far more than necessary, and tapped the ball. The ball rolled down the path and right into the hole. “Hole in one.” He winked at him.

He sighed. “You make it look easy.”

“You’re just swinging too hard. Just tap it, not beat it.”

He did as Dean did (even shaking his butt first much to Dean’s enjoyment) He hit the ball but it got caught on a brick. With a few more strokes he got it in the hole.

This process was repeated throughout the whole game. There was much laughter to be had between the two of them. Castiel discovered he was not very good at mini-golf as he frequently got the ball stuck on a hazard or on the course itself. Dean promised to one day take him bowling to see if he was better at it, but Castiel was fairly certain he only wanted to do it to get a few more laughs at his expense. They made it to the last whole bidding goodbye to the balls as they went down the final hole.

“Who won?” Castiel asked.

“Not you, you got fifty and I scored twenty.”

“I scored higher, doesn’t that mean I won?”

“Not in golf, honey, in golf the lower your score the better you did.”

He narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you lying to me?”

“Nope,” he said popping the p on the word. “Look it up if you don’t believe me.”

They returned their clubs. Dean got a chance to spin a prize wheel because of his hole in one. He won a candy bar and let Castiel pick one out. They split the bar as they returned to the car. Castiel looked up the rules of mini-golf on the back of the scorecard. Dean was correct. “I am terrible at this game.” He noted as he took a bite of his candy bar.

“Yeah,” Dean said as he opened the car door and got in. “But did you have fun?”

“I did.”

“Then that’s what counts.” He started the car. “Even if you can’t play the game as long as you have fun doing it then that’s what’s important.”

“I did have fun.” He blushed. He wished him and Dean could have more days like this but given their profession that may not be possible. His heart ached. He never questioned their lifestyle before but now as a human, he craved normalcy. Overwhelming sadness sunk in. He didn’t want to feel this way.

“Let’s get some lunch,” Dean said with a smile

The sadness dissipated. They may not have a normal life but he could help Dena feel normal for one day. He was going to shower Dean with the love that he craved. He smiled. He would do anything for Dean.

Dean took them to dinner it was one of the ones on Castiel’s list. “You said that this place has some of the best burgers, right?”

“That’s what the online reviews said, that it had the best burgers around.”

He nodded. “Hot damn,” He got out of the car and Castiel followed. “I wonder if they got pie.” He said as they walked in.

“Take a seat anywhere, hon!” A waitress called to them

Dean walked towards a booth in the back. No one was around so it offered some privacy. They sat down.

The same waitress from before walked over to them and laid down the menus. “My name is Katrina and I will be your waitress for the day. What would like to drink?”

“Soda for me,” Castiel said

Dean licked his lips. “Same.”

“I’ll give you two a minute.” She walked away

“Place ain't got beer,” Dean grumbled

“It is a bit early for beer,” Castiel said as he looked over the menu options. The diner had a lot. If it could be ordered they had it. They had nearly a whole page dedicated to burgers alone.

“Dude, they got pie.” Dean smiled

He snickered. “You can get yourself some pie, Dean.”

“There are so many choices.” He sighed

The waitress returned with their drinks. “Ready?”

Castiel ordered a bacon burger and Dean ordered the same. She wrote it down then walked off. Castiel looked around, the tiny diner was wholesome. It was decorated with antiques and old signage. It was lovely.

“It’s a lot nicer than most shit holes me and Sammy end up eating at,” Dean noted as he sipped his soda. He nodded at the signs on the wall. “They just don’t make ads like they used to.”

He looked at one of the neon beer signs and frowned. “I don’t understand why humans like an old advertisement.”

He shrugged. “I guess it makes them think of glory days.” He pointed at the beer ad. “Like that one, dad had something like that. I remember it being in the garage.”

“I’m surprised you remember from that long ago.”

“They are vague memories but mostly I saw pictures that had it in it there so that’s why I remember it so well.”

“Humans… are very nostalgic.”

“Some of us. Not all of us look at stuff from the past and smile.” He played with the straw in his glass. “Like Sammy for instance, he’s not very nostalgic. He didn’t keep anything from childhood.” He sighed

“Did you?”

“Yeah, well obviously the Impala but I did keep a few comics, books, and toys. Not a lot but a few. Dad didn’t buy us much especially because we lived out of our car but what we did have I valued.”

“You are a fascinating person, Dean.”

He blushed. “No, I’m not.”

“You are, the fact that you grew up in such… difficult circumstances and still turned out to be a caring and loving human speaks volumes.”

“I’m not special, Cas.”

He grabbed his hand causing Dean to let out a gasp. “But you are, you are a special human being, Dean. You deserve love and to be loved and don’t ever tell yourself otherwise. No matter,” He kissed his hand watching Dean’s reaction. He didn’t want to scare him off but Dean focused on him. His green eyes focused on him so intently. “I know you think you’re nothing but a warrior but that is far from the truth. You are an amazing person, Dean. You are more than the soldier your father wanted you to be.”

“Thank you, Cas.” He sniffed. Castiel could tell he was holding back tears.

“I just want you to know that. I know you struggle with it and… I want you to know that is how I feel.”

“I… thank you. Cas, I love you so much.” He smiled it was full of love and affection. “I’ve never… felt this way about anyone before. I never felt so loved…”

There was a cough at their table. They both looked up to see the waitress holding their food. She looked embarrassed. “Um, I hate to interrupt but here is your food.”

“Oh um, thanks,” Dean said as he blushed madly

She sat down the plates and walked off.

“That was awkward.” He said with a chuckle

“I apologize.”

“It’s not your fault, Cas.” He smiled. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Castiel wasn’t sure if that statement was for him or if Dean was trying to convince himself. He was still happy to hear it either way.

They ate in silence once in a while commenting on how good the food was. “You did a good job finding this place,” Dean said with a mouthful of burger. Castiel smiled. It made him happy to see Dean happy. Once the food was finished they ordered a slice of pie. Dean insisted that Castiel order a different flavor that he did so he could taste it. He did of course and Dean did steal a bite. Once they were done, Dean got up to pay. He tipped the waitress nicely and ordered themselves a whole pie. Castiel wondered if it would be okay in the car but he didn’t question it.

They got in the car and headed to the book store. Castiel had become an avid reader during his time on Earth. He was looking forward to digging through the aisles to see what they had. They drove to the book store. A large building came into view.

Dean whistled. “Now that is a book store.” He looked over at Castiel after he parked the car. “Don’t get lost.” He teased

He nodded. “I will try not to. It is a rather large store but they sell both used and new books from my understanding.”

“I hope we can find some deals.”

He stared at him with an eyebrow raised.

“What? I read.” He shook his head as he got out of the car muttering about not understanding why people didn’t think he read.

He tried not to laugh as they walked into the store. Castiel let out a gasp. He wasn’t ready for how big the store actually was. Aisle upon aisle unfolded before them. They seemed to stretch forever. “Wow, the pictures online did not do this place justice.”

Dean clapped his shoulder. “I repeat don’t get lost.”

“You don’t get lost.”

He took ahold of his hand. “That way I won’t get lost. Lead the way, Cas.”

Castiel started down the first aisle he came across. It was murder mystery books. He liked those. He had a few in his hand. The used ones were a fair price which made it easy for him to stock up.

Dean laughed. “I think you need a basket.” He located a shopping basket for Castiel. “Load up, buddy.”

He laid his books in the basket and Dean insisted on holding it. “Be sure you get yourself some too. Since you read.”

He looked down at the huge stack. “I think you got enough for both us… and possibly Sam. Dude, this is only the first aisle.”

“You are correct.”

They wandered around the aisles. Dean added a book or two for himself in the pile from the science fiction section. He talked Castiel into picking up a few classic books informing him he had to read the classics it was part of human life. Castiel managed to find a book about bees and Dean found a cookbook. Eventually, they needed another basket for all their book finds. Exploring the aisles took a lot longer than Castiel thought it would but he was happy. Once they got to the end of their journey they headed back to the register.

“I feel like I just explored a cave.” Dean joked. “This has the be the biggest book store, no scratch that, the biggest damn store I have ever been in.”

He laughed. “I am shocked by how big it is. I didn’t even know ones this big existed.”

“Yeah, it certainly makes the one back home look like a postage stamp.”

He nodded. He didn’t really love the one back in Lebanon. While he was happy to have a local book store its used section was primarily Harlequin Romance novels which weren’t his thing.

They sat their baskets on the counter. The clerk whistled. “I see you boys found some treasures.” She said as she began to scan the books.

Castiel began to worry about the cost. He watched as the number on the register climbed higher and higher. He was considering telling the clerk to forget about it and he would put half of them back.

Dean squeezed his arm. “Don’t worry about it, Cas, we can cover it.”

“Yeah but,”

“No buts,” he whispered in his ear. “Only the best for my Cas.” He kissed his cheek

Castiel thought for a minute he might actually faint. He wasn’t expecting Dean to be affectionate in public. It made him giddy. He wanted to kiss Dean and hold him but from his understanding of humans, he couldn’t display too much affection. Plus there was always the chance he could offend the clerk and he didn’t want her to throw them out or overcharge them.

“That’ll be fifty-five dollars even.” She said

Dean handed her a hundred dollar bill. “Not so bad considering.”

“We are having a deal today.” She pointed at a sign behind her which announced buy one used book get one half off. “You guys chose a good day to come on.”

“Awesome,” Dean said as she handed him his change. “You want to go back through, Cas?”

“Oh, um, no, I think I have enough.”

“You can never have too many books.” The clerk said with a laugh as she handed Dean the bags.

He smiled. “Gentleman says he has enough so I’ll take his word on it. Plus, he’ll be reading these for months.”

“You guys have a good day.”

They headed back to the car. Dean loaded the books in the trunk. He checked on his pie in the cooler then got in the driver’s seat. “When we get home, I’m going to install you a bookshelf."

“That is not necessary.”

He nodded as he started the car. “Hey, Cas, I’ve been wondering what are we going to do when we get back home?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you going to stay in your room or are you going to move into mine? Are we going to tell Sam? You know things like that.”

His face heated up as Dean backed the car out of the lot. “I uh, didn’t think about that.” He studied the side of Dean’s face. “Do you… want me to share a room with you?”

He looked at him. “Dude, why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… humans are strange.”

“Cas, I want to share my room with you. If you are okay with that, that is.”

“I um, am more than okay with that.”

“Good, but if you want you can keep some stuff in your room. I know the rooms would be a little small for two people to share. But I’ll clear you a draw.”

“Clear me a draw?”

“For your clothes, Cas.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world

“Oh, uh, I didn’t think of that.” He smiled. “I would like that.”

“I would too.” He turned the car into the lot at the apothecary. “But we should let Sam know first.”

“Are you comfortable with that?”

“I don’t want any secrets with Sam. Plus he must have known something or else he wouldn’t have set this up in the first place.”

“Thank you, Dean.” 

“For?”

“I don’t know just thank you.”

He frowned. “Okay, Cas.”

The two of them got out and headed into the little store. The store had various products such as honey, beeswax products, and cute bee memorabilia. Castiel was disappointed to learn that he couldn’t see the hive, however.

“Don’t worry, we will find you a local hive to see,” Dean said. “Hell, maybe we can start our own hive.”

“Really?” His eyes lit up at the thought of having his own hive

He kissed his cheek. “Of course.” He smiled. “Especially, if your face lights up like that when you see it.”

He giggled. He actually giggled like a teenager. “I would love that a lot, Dean.”

“I know you would.” He winked

Castiel went through the store picking himself up some honey, and chapstick. Dean picked up a bee keychain stating he would need it for his own car when they got home. Castiel smiled realizing that Dean had intended to give him one of the cars back at the bunker.

They paid for their items then got back in the car. “Cas,” Dean started as he did his seatbelt. “I’m thinking instead of going out somewhere else to eat I make us something for dinner. We still have food at the cabin.”

“That sounds good.”

They headed back to the cabin in mostly silence. Just the sounds of the radio filled the car. “You know,” Dean started. “When you get your car, you are going to need some tunes.”

“Not necessarily I can play the radio.”

Dean scoffed. “Radio? No man, you need real music. How about I make you a tape? You know, of some of the best songs.”

“I guess that would be fine, Dean.” He studied his face. Dean was serious. Music meant a lot to him. To Castiel, it was just something that played in the background while they drove. It didn’t hold the same emotion for him as it did for Dean. But he was willing to learn. “If it makes you happy, Dean, then I will enjoy some music.”

His face widened into a huge smile. “I can’t freaking wait.” His eyes lit up like a child’s. “It’s going to be amazing.”

They arrived at the cabin sometime later. They opted to leave the books in the car since they were going to leave first thing in the morning but the pie and honey went in with them. Dean rushed into the kitchen and started getting things together for dinner. “Hey, Cas, can you cut this?” He asked as he laid out a few carrots.

“What are you making?” He asked as he started to cut the carrots

“Going to make stew.” He laid out some potatoes. He poured a cup of water into the pot along with some beef broth. He started to brown the stew meat in a skillet as they handled the vegetables.

“You really like cooking don’t you?”

Dean nodded as he started to pile the potatoes. “I do, its… comforting. I never got to cook much when I was growing up. I made like a few things, for me and Sammy but nothing too serious. I,” He blushed. “I took a home ec class in high school. That was before I dropped out enterally and I learned a lot about cooking. I didn’t get to use what I learned until… well, Lisa.” He shrugged. “It was rare we had a motel room that had a full kitchen and even rarer for us to be around long enough to cook.”

“Why do you like it though?” He asked as he finally finished cutting one carrot “I find it to be tedious.”

Dean laughed. “Well, it isn’t for everyone. I don’t know why I like it. I never really thought about it before just that I enjoy doing it.”

“I am glad someone does,” Castiel grumbled.

Dean laughed again as he took some of the carrots from him. “I like a little help in the kitchen.”

“How about I provide emotional support?”

He smiled as he finished off the cutting far faster than Castiel was. Castiel debated if he should be embarrassed by how long it was taking him to get it down but he decided not to.

“How’s the injury?” He asked as Dean poured the rest of the vegetables in the pot

“It hurts but it’s not unbearable. Shame we can’t get in the hot tub.” He shrugged. “So… what do you want to do?”

“Huh?”

“The stew is going to be cooking for a couple of hours. That’s why I picked it, it should be done by the time we get hungry so that leaves…” He closed the gap between them. “You and me a couple of hours with nothing but time on our hands.”

His whole body heated up. “Are you, are you implying what I think you are?”

He smirked as he raced his hands on Castiel’s chest. “Only if you want to. If not we can just watch a movie.”

He looked into his green eyes. He could see the emotion on Dean’s face. He was hopeful and fearful. He debated what to do. He knew this was a defining moment for both of them. If he turned down Dean it may hurt his feelings and damage their relationship. “Are you sure? I don’t want to force you into anything uncomfortable.”

He nodded. “I’ve been sure about this for a while. Seeing you happy, made me happy.” He kissed his lips. “I want that for us every day. I’m tired of living in my own darkness. I want to embrace life.”

His pulse quickened. He was Dean’s life. He was Dean’s shot at something normal. Though Castiel was far from normal, after all, he was an angel trapped in a human form. He had loved Dean since he first raised him from Hell. He didn’t know it at the time but he understood it more than anything. He slowly cupped Dean’s face and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Dean moaned into the kiss returning it in kind. They continued to swap kisses as Dean walked them out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. The kisses deepened and turned heated as Dean infiltrated his mouth with his tongue. Castiel wasn’t sure he could hold on being kissed this strongly.

He broke the kiss to breathe. “Dean, Dean, I,” He gasped.

“I want you so bad.” Dean groaned as he grinned himself on Castiel.

“I do too.” He admitted

He kissed him again with more passion. He broke it off again. “I think… we should start out with the basics though.” He nibbled on Castiel’s ear. “We don’t have any lube and I’m hurt so that limits some things but…” he looked at him his eyes hooded and dark green from lust. “I know what I want to do to you.”

“What’s that?” he asked his voice coming out in a squeak

He smiled playfully. “Relax.” He undid Castiel’s pants freeing his aching cock from its trap. He hissed as the air hit it. He looked down at his erection. It was not the first one he had but somehow it was stronger than before. Maybe because he was about to bed Dean. Dean snuck to his knees. He kissed the inside of his thighs.

“Dean,” He groaned. His pulse quickened with anticipation. He couldn’t wait. “Dean, please,” he begged

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He kissed the tip of his cock making Castiel gasp. Dean slowly took it into his mouth, holding the base of it with his hand.

Castiel groaned as he was enveloped with heat. He couldn’t believe this was real. He was thinking it was one of those erotic dreams he had heard about until Dean started to bob on his cock. It was very real, very warm and wonderful. He threw his head back letting out a moan. He wanted to thrust into Dean’s mouth but he let Dean set the pace. “Dean! Oh, Dean!” He cried out. He grabbed the back of Dean’s head. His fingers dug into his hair. Dean slapped at his hand with his free one never slowing down his movements. Castiel lightened his grip he didn’t want to hurt Dean. There was a pooling sensation in his stomach. “Something is different.” He mumbled.

Dean looked up at him and winked. He started bobbing quicker. With each move, Castiel started to chant his name. He lost control and started to thrust into Dean’s mouth. He didn’t stop him he seemed to encourage it. Castiel started to pant. He had never felt anything like this before. No wonder humans were so obsessed with sex. Everything felt wonderful. Pure bliss. He felt his balls drawing up he ignored it as he chased the heat in Dean’s mouth. His body stiffened. He cried out as his orgasm snuck upon him. Blis washed over him as his cock let out a few twitches as he finished up.

“Oh, Dean.” He panted

He got up from the floor wincing some. He wiped his mouth and swallowed. Castiel’s eyes grew wide there was something hot about Dean swallowing his come and he didn’t know why. “Did you like that?”

“I did.” He gasped and nodded. “It was… whew no wonder you were trying so hard to get me to lose my virginity.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled

Castiel flopped back on the bed. His body wanted to sleep but he wasn’t finished yet. He slowly sat back up and looked at Dean who was still studying him. He could see his own erection tenting his pants. “Dean, you… you need to climax as well.” He stated

Dean glanced down at his tented pants. “I mean, yeah, I’m rock hard but it was about you, you can take a nap I’ll rub one out in the shower.”

“You will do no such thing.” He reached out to him. “Come here.”

Dean walked over to the bed. He stood at the edge staring at Castiel.

“Let me, please.”

He nodded. Castiel planted a kiss on his lips tasting himself on Dean. “Okay.”

Castiel stood up and pushed Dean onto the bed. He undid his pants pulling them off as Dean raised his hips. He stared at Dean’s leaking cock. He wanted it he needed it. He swallowed hard. Dean’s face was turned away as if ashamed. “Look at me, Dean.”

Dean looked at him his face red. “Sorry, I just…”

“Are you okay with this?”

He nodded. “Sorry, I’m used to giving… blow jobs to guys… last time. I sucked the guy off then took care of myself.”

“I see. I will take care of you, Dean.” He noticed Dean’s dick twitch. He smiled. “Though… I have never done it before,”

“I… God, I just need to get off.” He took Castiel’s hands and laid them on his dick. “Please,” he took Castiel’s finger and used it to smear pre-come on his cock

“This is what you want? My hands?”

“Yeah, I have beat off to thinking about your hands on my dick for years now.” He panted

“Okay, Dean.” He followed his instincts. He gripped Dean tightly making the other man moan and writhe in the bed. He started pumping up and down gathering more pre-come to keep Dean’s dick slick. He watched Dean’s face, his lips parted, his breath coming in pants. Getting his partner off was also pleasant.

“Cas.” Dean cried as he writhed. “Faster, baby, faster.”

He followed his instructions quickening his pace. Dean made all sorts of noises that filled the room. Dean thrust up quickening up the pace. He watched as Dean’s face grew redder and redder. “I’m going to… Cas, I’m so close.” He groaned

Castiel quickened his ministrations. He watched Dean throw back his head as his mouth fell open to a soundless shout. His dick twitched and pulsed as thick come shot out of it. He was almost hard again himself. “Dean, that was,”

Dean whooped as he caught his breath. “That was amazing.” He gasped

“That was… as you humans say hot.” He started at Dean who grinned at him.

“I’ve fantasized about that for so long.” He climbed out of bed. He handed Castiel a tissue. “Come on let’s take a shower.”

“Sounds great.” He breathed. He followed him into the shower.

Dean picked up the body wash, squirting a healthy amount in his hands he began to wash Castiel. He worked the lathered soap all over his body being sure to get all the important areas.

Castiel let out a sigh. He enjoyed being touched by Dean. He leaned into his chest as Dean gently caressed his chest. He felt as though he could melt into the bottom of the shower from pure pleasure. He leaned in kissing Dean on the neck. “I love you.” He whispered into his neck

“I love you too.” Dean kissed him on the cheek. He took the showerhead off its holder and sprayed Castiel off.

Castiel took the body spray and repeated the same process on Dean. He seemed to enjoy it greatly. Castiel’s heart was heavy knowing that Dean was so desperate for touch. He never wanted him to feel unloved ever again. He kissed him all over his neck and shoulders praising him and declaring his love over and over again. Dean was putty in his hands. “I will love you forever and always.” He said as he sprayed Dean off

Dean’s green eyes light up then teared up. “Do you mean it?” He asked full of doubt. “I’m not the best person you know.”

“I know but I wouldn’t have you any other way.” He kissed him on the forehead

He smiled. “I’ll be with you forever, Cas.”

They kissed under the showerhead. Water dripped down their bodies as they kissed.

“You know,” Dean started. “We should check on dinner.”

He blinked. “Yeah, you’re right.”

They got out of the shower and toweled off. They got dressed and checked on their dinner. It wasn’t ready yet. They got on the couch and cuddled each other while they watched TV. Castiel couldn’t imagine having Dean any other way and he would give anything to Dean to keep him safe and feeling loved. He meant it. He would be with him forever and always.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading. I have plans to do a sort of fix-it for the finale. Look for that soon


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